2020-03-12 | Ephesians 4:17-32 | That Ye Put On The New Man
We’re there in Ephesians 4. We are going through the book of Ephesians verse by verse, chapter by chapter. This is our fourth week in chapter 4 and this is the last week in Chapter 4, I promise. We’ll move on to chapter 5 next time we are in the book of Ephesians. And you know I just believe that if there’s truths for us to learn, that we should take the time to dissect it. And there’s no need to rush through the Bible. There have been a lot of things in this chapter that have been good for us to learn and applicable to us. And if you remember, last week we covered verses 11 through 16 of this chapter. Tonight we’re going to cover verses 17 through 32. We’ll finish this chapter and we’ll move on to chapter 5. And in this chapter, what I’d like you to notice is this theme about our walk or about our conversation, which is the Bible word for our lifestyle. There’s this theme about the way we live our lives.
And if you remember, the first three chapters were heavy on theology, very theological teachings about predestination and all sorts of things like that. And now Paul has shifted gears into more of a practical, application driven. And if you remember last week, we talked about the role of spiritual leadership in your life and how spiritual leadership is here to equip you and help you to walk with God. Now in these verses he talked about our lifestyle. This is what your Christian life should look like. This is what your life should be like now. By way of introduction, look at verse 17.
Ephesians 4:17 “17 This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth” That word means from here on or from here forward. He says “that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind,”. So notice that there is a theme there. He says I’m going to teach you about walking the way that Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind. Ephesians 4:22 “22 That ye put off” That’s really the theme and I’ll come back to it at the end of the sermon “concerning the former conversation the old man,” The word conversation just means lifestyle as we saw in verse 17. He said look, you when you got saved you were created as a new creature. But yet there’s an old man that had an old walk, that had an old lifestyle, that an old way about him. And he said that old man doesn’t just go away when you get saved.
And I hope you understand that. When you get saved, there’s a new man. But that old man is still there. You wake up with that old man every day. You live with that old man every day. And Paul’s going to teach us about taking off that old man. He says “that ye put off”. And I like the analogy that he uses or the wording uses. Because it’s very much like a piece of clothing, like a coat. He says you just need to take that coat off. He says that you put off concerning the former conversation the old man which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts. Verse 23 “23 And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;”. Then he says in verse 24 “24 And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.”. So there’s this idea of the way we live our lives, the old walk versus the new walk, the old man versus the new man. He says put off the old man and put on the new man. So, notice that he begins with the old walk of unbelievers.
And if you’re taking notes, point number one is the old walk of unbelievers. Notice verse 17. He begins to explain about the old walk. And this has really been a theme in the book of Ephesians as well. Because if you remember earlier in the book, he talked about the fact that the children of wrath, the children of disobedience. Those are the unbelievers that are walking in the course of this world. Remember that he said that course was set up by the Prince of the power of the air. The devil has basically set the agenda for the world. He’s laid out a course and unbelievers, they’re not bad people, they’re not evil people, they just don’t have the Holy Spirit, they just don’t know any better, they just naturally get put on the course of the world and they just act like unbelievers. They act like sinners. They just do what the world does. And so they end up having marriages like the world has marriages. They end up raising children the way that the world raises children. They end up living their lives the way the world lives their life. The only problem with that is that it’s a destructive lifestyle that the devil has set up for unbelievers.
So, notice in verse 17 he says “17 This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth”. He says from here on now you need to make a decision to walk not as other Gentiles walk. And you say well what’s wrong with the way that other Gentiles walk? Notice the end of verse 17, they walk “in the vanity of their mind”. See, the unbelieving world that is away from God and away from Christ, they’re going to lead you the way that unbelievers live their life. They live a vain life. They live in vanity. They live a life that is vain. Solomon would tell us in Ecclesiastes that all of life is filled with vanity and vexation of spirit.
When we think of vain or vanity, we think of someone who is into themselves. And that’s a proper definition of course. You might look at someone and say they’re shallow or vain. The word vanity literally means empty. Solomon says everything under the sun is vanity. He says vexation of spirit. The word vexation means frustration. And the Bible teaches that the world and the Gentiles walk in the vanity of their own mind, in the pride of life, the selfish life. This leaves them empty and frustrated with life. Psalm 39:4-5 “4 Lord, make me to know mine end,” This is someone thinking about the end of their life. and the measure of my days,”. I don’t want to just consider the end of my life, I want to consider how much time I have with my life. “4 Lord, make me to know mine end, and the measure of my days, what it is: that I may know how frail I am.”. When you really consider how much time you have on this earth, you realize how weak and frail you really are. When you really consider the amount of time that you’ll actually have on this earth to make an impact, to influence, to do anything in regards to eternity, you realize that we are but dust, that we are frail.
He says “that I may know how frail I am.”. Notice “5 Behold, thou hast made my days as an handbreadth;”. He says look, the amount of time that I live on this earth, whether it’s 70 years or 80 years or a hundred years or whatever, he says it’s like a handbreadth in regards to eternity. He says “5 Behold, thou hast made my days as an handbreadth; and mine age is as nothing before thee:”. And then he says this, and I think it was a super interesting statement or commentary about life here in the Book of Psalms. And he says “verily every man”. And I believe he’s referring to just man on his own (without the Holy Spirit). He says “verily every man at his best state”. We’re not talking about finding the worst guy on earth, we’re not talking about finding the biggest loser just doing nothing with his life. Someone who’s the best. Unsaved people that are really nice. Some unsaved people don’t lie, don’t steal and seem like they would be great church members. Here’s what he’s saying, you can find the nicest unsaved person out there, just the nicest guy that we would all look at and say that’s a great guy, that’s a nice guy. Here’s what the psalmist says. “every man at his best state is altogether vanity. Selah.”.
Notice verse 6 “6 Surely every man walketh in a vain shew:”. Isn’t that interesting? It means if you find the best guy out there, he walks in a vain shew. Isn’t it human nature to just kind of do things just to kind of show off to people? If you ever need evidence of this, have you ever heard of a thing called Facebook? Have you ever heard of a social media outlet called Instagram? “6 Surely every man walketh in a vain shew: surely they are disquieted in vain:”. What does that mean? He says look, people can get up every day and put energy and effort and still they are disquieted in vain. You say, what about the ones that help their community? The Bible says “what does it profit a man if he gain the whole world and lose his own soul”. You say, what about the good guys out there trying to help with community organizations? He says they’re disquieted in vain.
The most successful people out there, the richest people out there, the wealthiest people out there, the Bible says “he heapeth up riches, and knoweth not who shall gather them.”. Because you can’t take it with you. And here’s what he’s saying, the life of unbelievers is a vain life. No matter what you do, if you do everything you’re supposed to do, everything right that you’re supposed to do, try to help everybody and then die and go to hell then you lived an empty and a useless life. That’s kind of harsh but it’s the truth. Go back to Ephesians 4:17.
Ephesians 4:17 “17 This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk,”. You say what’s wrong with the way the other Gentiles walk? “in the vanity of their mind,”. Then he says look, not only is their life empty, he says their life is alienated. Notice verse 18. “18 Having the understanding darkened,”. And again this is the Bible doctrine series on Sunday night, the fact that unbelievers cannot understand the Bible, they cannot understand spiritual things. “the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God for they are foolishness unto Him neither can he know them because they’re spiritually discerned”. That’s what he’s saying. He says “18 Having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God”. Isaiah tells us that sin separates us from God and unbelievers are separated from God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart. He says look, they live an empty life. They might be disquieted, they might put a lot of energy and empty effort but it’s emptiness. Solomon who succeeded in every area that you could possibly succeed and got to the end of his life and said he hated my life, it’s vanity and vexation of spirit.
And then Paul tells us not only is their life vanity, their life is alienated from God. And here’s the thing. You’re alienated from God whether you know it or not, whether you acknowledge it or not. You live a hopeless life and you live a helpless life. Let me show it to you. You’re there in Ephesians 4. Look at Ephesians 2:12 “12 That at that time ye were without Christ,”. He’s saying when you were not saved. “being aliens from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers from the covenants of promise, having no hope, and without God in the world:”. Paul is trying to tell people not to live your life like an unsaved person. Now he’s saying this because of the fact that there are so many saved people who are trying to live like unsaved people. And Paul says why would you want to live like an unsaved person? Don’t you know that their life is just walking in the vanity of their own mind? Don’t you understand that they are living alienated from the life that is in God and that leaves them hopeless? He says having no hope and without God in the world.
Go to Romans chapter 5. Romans 5:6, the Bible says this “6 For when we were yet without strength,”. What does that mean? We were helpless. “in due time Christ died for the ungodly. 7 For scarcely for a righteous man will one die:”. So it’s pretty rate for people to die for a righteous man. “yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die.”. Peradventure means perhaps. “. He says but you know what? “8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners,”. He says while we were hopeless and helpless, while we could give nothing and provide nothing. This is why works salvation theology is so misguided. We get this idea that we have to give our life to Christ. He doesn’t need anything from you. We were helpless and hopeless without God in this world.
I got saved at a very young age. I grew up in a Christian home. I really don’t know how unbelievers live their lives. Tragedy happens because things happen we don’t understand and they don’t always make sense to us. And honestly, I can always say “all things work together for good to them that love God”. I can say by faith that God has a plan and purpose. I can read the story of Job and I can read the story of Joseph and I can say you might be in the dungeon and you might be in the prison but God’s working on the other side. God hasn’t forgotten, God hasn’t forsaken, God will be there for you. I don’t know what unsaved people think. Honestly, I don’t know how you comfort unsaved people. Paul says why are you trying to live like them? Don’t you know that they’re hopeless and helpless? Don’t you know they’re alienated from the life that is in God? Don’t you know that they are alienated from the love and the compassion of Christ? Don’t you know that they were without hope and without God in this world?
Then he says that unbelievers live a life that is alienated. And he says unbelievers, they live a life that’s vain, it’s empty. Then he says unbelievers, they live a life of lasciviousness. Notice Ephesians 4:19 “19 Who being past feeling” And I don’t have time to develop this but I believe this is a reference to a reprobate, someone who becomes callous, someone who’s probably without the ability to feel. And you say well why would he say that when he’s talking to unbelievers? Because reprobates only come from unbelievers. You never go from being saved to a reprobate. You go from being unsaved to being a reprobate. And let me just say this, I don’t have time to develop this but the idea of being a reprobate is that you’re rejected and you’re without hope and you’re without the ability to be saved. And here’s the honest truth, and I’m not saying that every person becomes a reprobate before they die, but when they die, guess what? They’re all reprobates. Because the Bible says “and as it is appointed unto men once to die and after this the judgment”. Once you die, there’s no hope. Once you die, you’re rejected. Once you die, you can sit there at the judgment of the great white throne and say “Lord, Lord. Did we not prophesy in thy name, cast out Devils and do many wonderful works”. And he’s going to say “depart from me I never knew you”. So this is where it ends for every unbeliever. It ends down the road of no hope, no ability to be saved, rejected by God.
And he says “19 Who being past feeling have given themselves over unto lasciviousness,”. The word lascivious is like lust or desire. “to work all uncleanness with greediness.”. And again this is not just something in regards to a physical relationship between a man and a woman, even though you can definitely apply it there. But it’s just a desire for life. And look, honestly isn’t that the truth about unbelievers? Isn’t that just kind of how they live their life? The word is hedonistic. We do not only live in a heathenistic society, heathenistic meaning they’ve rejected the God of the Bible, what you and I would call heathens. But we also live in a hedonistic society, the idea that if it feels good do it. And I mean isn’t that the world we live in? I mean you can go out there and have somebody tell you that as long as you’re not hurting anybody, as long as it’s consensual, if it feels good, do it. What they don’t understand is that sin hurts everyone. Righteousness exalteth a nation so guess what unrighteousness does? Look around to what it’s done to our nation. And we live in a society that’s lascivious. They’re just kind of living empty lives, living hopeless lives. So what do they do? They just try to fill their lives with pleasure, lasciviousness, greediness.
Isn’t this what God already told us in 1 John 2:15? 1 John 2:15 “15 Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.”. You can’t have it both ways. You can’t love the world and love the Father. We learned about this already in Ephesians. Being a friend of the world puts you at enmity with God. Then he says this “16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.”. He says here’s why you can’t have the love of the Father. He says that all the world has to offer you….Young people you listen to me. You’ve got these grand ideas that when you turn 18 years old that you’re going to leave the house. I’ll tell you everything the world has to offer you right here. Verse 16 “16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.”. You say that doesn’t sound so bad. Well go ask our friend Solomon who says the eye is never full of seeing and the ears never full of hearing. Your lust will never be satisfied.
So you can go ahead and give yourself to the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes but you’ll never be satisfied. You’ll end up vain, empty, vexation of spirit, frustrated. This is the life of unbelievers who eventually die and go to hell. Paul was looking at the Church of Ephesus and I’m looking at this church in Sacramento and saying why are you trying to live like them? What is it exactly that they’re offering you? He says they live vain lives, an alienated life and lascivious lives. He says that they live without hope and hopelessness. Their lusts are never fulfilled and then they die and go to hell.
And then Paul shifts gears and he does a compare and contrast. Then he says, let me tell you what the new man looks like. Ephesians 4:20 “20 But ye have not so learned Christ;” What’s he’s saying is that you’re saved tonight and you’re living this empty life that the Devil has set up for you of the course of this world, he says you didn’t learn that from Christ. He said “20 But ye have not so learned Christ; 21 If so be that ye have heard him, and have been taught by him, as the truth is in Jesus:”. He’s saying if you’re saved and you’ve heard of Christ and you’ve been taught of Christ, you can live a better life. See, Jesus did not just come to give you eternal life in regards to salvation. He also came to give you the abundant life that you can have right here, right now. He says I’ll save your soul and give you eternal life. But if you give me your life, your body physically, I’ll give you the abundant life. So in verse 22, Paul says this “22 That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts;”. If you’re going to transition from the way that the world lives to how Christians ought to live; not that Christians will live because Christians can grieve the Holy Spirit mentioned later in this passage. But he’s saying this is the life that God has given, you this is the victory God has given you.
If you’re going to live that life, you have to realize a couple of things. First of all it’s going to require a change in your attitude. It’s going to require a renewal in your attitude. He says notice verse 22 “22 That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts;”. He said the old man is corrupt. Then he says in verse 23 “23 And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;”. He says look, if you’re going to begin to walk, if you’re going to put off the old man and you’re going to put on the new man, it’s going to require a renewal of your mind. He says “23 And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;”. See, the new walk requires a new attitude. Please understand this, you say I’d sure like to take off the old man and put on the new man. Well change your attitude, renew your attitude. And the way you think needs to change. You grew up unsaved. We all grew up in this world being told to walk in the course of this world. People move in together before marriage, divorced one year after marriage. How does that work? I think it’s just God saying that you reap what you sow. Just vaccinate your kids, put them in public school, government facility. This is the course of this world. The first step to living for God is you got to renew your mind and attitude.
Romans 12:1 “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.”. God says I want your body to be a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God which is your reasonable service. And then you say well how do I do that Paul? Here’s how you do it. “2 And be not conformed to this world:”. Don’t conform yourself to the course of this world. Well how do I stop doing that? Here’s how you do it. “but be ye transformed”. Don’t miss it. “by the renewing of your mind,”. People attack our church and say that we’re a cult and that Pastor is brainwashing you. I always think to myself, well your brain needs to be washed. You need a renewing of your mind, a change in attitude.
And listen to me very carefully about getting advice from the world. I know that Jesus said the children of this world in their generation are wiser than the children of light. And I’m not one of these people who says there’s nothing you can learn from unbelievers out there. And Jesus gave a parable and then he said look, sometimes you can learn something from unsaved people. I read books about business and practices from unsaved people. In our leadership class, I have the guys go through some of these books and things that are written by unsaved people. Nothing in the world wrong with learning some best practices things from unsaved people. Time management, delegating, organizing, running a business. This is a church of course but we try to run it professionally like a business. Why reinvent the wheel if there’s already people out there that have learned how to organize and learn how to how to build organizations and structures and systems to be able to motivate and mobilize. I’m all for that. I’ll read books like that all day long.
What I won’t read from the world is about marriage. What I won’t read from the world is about child rearing. You know what I’m not going to read from the world is how teenagers should date. Go ahead and read stuff from the world and learn from the world if you’re going to go into some sort of business and some sort of area of business. Read and learn from those people. But when it comes to how to live your life, get a King James Bible and get a Baptist preacher and learn from that how to raise your kids. But Documentaries and movies about how to have a good marriage? Have you seen their divorce rates? Why would you want that? You say, “Well pastor we got this book on child rearing and written by a psychologist”. Just go drive by a public high school when school gets out. We love those kids, want to reach those kids, want to reach those families but watch those kids come out of school and tell me if that is what you want to produce. Because that’s what they’re producing. You can’t even tell if it’s male or female. They don’t even want you to know if it’s male or female. We don’t need the world’s philosophies. We don’t need the course of this world. They’re failing. They’re crazy. It’s empty, lascivious. They’re without hope and helpless in this world. And Paul says look, you need to understand this. You need to get this. If you’re going to put off the old man and put on the new man, you need to renew your mind. It’s going to require a renewal in your attitude.
But then he says this, not only will it require a renewal in your attitude, it will also require a renewal in your actions. Then he begins to get really practical here, right into the nitty-gritty. And he says there in verse 25, Ephesians 4:25 “25 Wherefore putting away” Like taking a coat off and folding it up and putting it away. And he will give four things. And I don’t think this is an all-inclusive list but these are the four things that it takes to be a good Christian. I’m not sure why he gives these four things. Maybe the church at Ephesus really needed it. I think it’s going to apply to all of us. But he gives four things that you need to do, actions that you need to do if you’re going to put off the old man and put on the new man. Because these are four things that the world does and that believers should not do. Notice what he says in Ephesians 4:25. Here’s number 1. “putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour:”. He says look, you need to renew your attitude. But then he says you also need to renew your actions. You say what do you mean? Paul says stop lying and be honest. You want to stand out at work gentlemen? Stop lying and be honest. He says “putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour:”.
Turn to John 8:44. This is a really interesting passage about Satan. At some point in our doctrinal series we’re going to do a Sunday night on the doctrine of Satan. And I’m sure we’ll review this. John 8:44, notice what he says. This is Jesus speaking. If you have a red-letter Edition Bible, these words are in red. He’s talking to the Pharisees and he says “44 Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do.”. Remember, because all that is in the world is the lusts of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, the pride of life. He says “He was a murderer from the beginning,”. Then I want you to notice these words “and abode not in the truth,”. He says the devil was a murderer from the beginning and from the beginning he abode not in the truth. You say well why did he not abide in the truth? Here’s why, because there is no truth in him. That’s interesting that Jesus would say in the devil, he abode not in the truth. “and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.”. Satan invented it. That’s why Jesus says that he’s the father of lying and he abode not in the truth because there is no truth in him.
Here’s what’s interesting. When you study Satan in the Bible, there’s not a lot of passages where Satan is speaking. and the two most famous passages where Satan speaks is in the Garden of Eden and the Temptation of Christ. Here’s what’s really interesting. When Satan speaks in those two passages, which are the main passages where we hear him talk, he never tells a flat-out lie. But he twists the truth in both instances. In the Garden of Eden and with Christ, he speaks the truth partially. And then Jesus turns around and says there is no truth in him. You know what that tells us? That tells us that if you’re not telling the complete truth, you’re not telling the truth at all. See the world says “Oh I didn’t lie. I just didn’t say everything.”. Does Jesus say that he deceived a little bit? No, he says he abode not in the truth because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own. It’s interesting because we see the devil give half-truths and then Jesus says there is no truth in him. Is this really complicated? You say “I’m going to learn how to live the Christian life.”. Okay. Step one, stop lying. Be honest. Don’t lie. Put away lying. Speak every man the truth.
And by the way, just realize that lying is not just a flat-out lie where you look someone in the eyes. When you take an extra 15 minutes of lunch break and you’re getting paid to be back at work at a certain time, nobody knows you lied. That’s what the unsaved people do. People clock in late, leave early. Or how about this one. People buy something from the store, use it, knowing full well you’re going to return it. That’s lying. That is dishonest. You say “I just need this tool.” Then rent it. Then buy it. Then borrow it from someone. But to go to the store, purchase something while knowing you’re just going to use it one time and then return it, that’s what the world does. Some of you did that with your wedding dress. That’s lying. So, just realize that lying is not just looking someone in the eye and flat-out lying. It’s interesting to me that Satan never just flat-out lied in the Bible. He told half-truths. He twisted things. He just changed things a little bit. And then Jesus comes along and says he abode not in the truth because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own for he is a liar and the father of it. Then Paul says this, stop lying and be honest.
Ephesians 4:26 “Be ye angry and sin not”. The Bible tells us that we can be angry and not sin. We know that’s true because the Bible tells us that Jesus was angry at times and he never sinned. But you’re not Jesus and I’m not either. And the vast majority of time that we get angry, we sin. And Paul says hey, be angry and sent not. So he said look, you want to walk in the new man that God has called you to? What he says is number one, don’t lie and be honest. Then number two, he says control your temper. I mean he says be angry. He says there’s nothing wrong with being angry. Sometimes we get angry when things happen but control that enough so that you don’t sin. Then he says, “let not the Sun go down upon your wrath”. I used to have a pastor that would say “Get glad in the same shoes you got mad.”. Basically, don’t go to bed angry with your spouse. He says let not the Sun go down upon your wrath. You say why?
Notice verse 27 “27 Neither give place to the devil.”. When we do not control our temper, you know what we are allowing? We’re allowing the devil, the Bible says we’re giving place to the devil to use us. He says don’t lie, which is something that the devil is known for. Then he says don’t get angry or lose control of your anger. And then he says, because you’ll give place to the devil. Look, the Bible says in Proverbs 16:32 “he that is slow to anger is better than the mighty and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city”.
So he says number one, don’t lie and be honest. He says number two, control your temper. Then he says number three, notice verse 28. Ephesians 4:28 “28 Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth.”. He says look, don’t steal. Don’t steal and work hard. And look at the world, they think it’s no big deal if you are getting paid for time you actually didn’t work. That’s stealing. He says look, let him that stole steal no more. That’s what you used to do. You used to steal. You know it’s tax season and you put that credit in that isn’t true. That’s stealing. He says let him that stole steal no more. He says “but rather let him labour, working with his hands”. He says don’t steal and work hard. You say how’s that connected to the devil? Well think about this, Jesus said that the thief, referring to the devil, he said the thief cometh forth to steal and to kill and to destroy. The devil’s known for stealing. And he says look, don’t lose your temper because you give place to the devil. Don’t steal because that’s what the devil does with your life. He wants to steal your life. He said don’t lie because that’s what the devil does.
Ephesians 4:29. He says don’t lie and be honest, control your temper, don’t steal and work hard. Then he gives us the last one. He says control your tongue. Ephesians 4:29 “29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”. You’ve heard me say this before. I’ve said it many times. I preached an entire sermon out of this one verse. And this was my outline. I’ve taught it to you. Some of you already know what I’m going to say. Before you say something, ask yourself this question. Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? If you can’t answer yes to all 3 questions then don’t let it come out of your mouth. All of those are found in this one verse.
Notice what it says in Ephesians 4:29. “29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth,”. Is it true? If it’s corrupt, it’s not pure. If it’s impure, it’s not true. He says look let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth. So you got to ask yourself this question before you allow something to come out of your mouth. Ask yourself, is it true before you call someone and start gossiping. Ask yourself, is it true? Is it even true? Look, you’re a gossip. You could ruin people’s lives and you can just spread rumors out there and it turns out that it wasn’t true.
“29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth,”. Is it true? But then he says “but that which is good to the use of edifying,”. Is it necessary? You say, “Oh no, it’s true. I double-checked it.”. Ok, but is it necessary? Is what you’re about to say going to edify, encourage, build anybody else up? “Well no.”. Then why are you talking about it? He says “Let no corrupt communication proceed”. Is it true? “but that which is good to the use of edifying,”. Is what you’re about to say necessary? Is it going to help somebody, encourage somebody, edify somebody? Then he says this, “that it may minister grace”. Is it kind? I’m just telling you you’ll have a better marriage, your kids will like you more, you’ll probably get a promotion at work if you just learn to shut your mouth. Unless you can answer these questions, is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? You’ll have less drama, less tension, less friction. Your neighbors will start liking you. You think your family doesn’t like you because you’re so holy. Okay Job. No, I think they don’t like you because you’re a jerk. I think they don’t like you because you just spew out your mouth. Is it necessary for you to say what you do? Is it true? Are you saying it in a kind way? Well if you’re not then maybe you should not allow it to come out of your mouth. Colossians 4:6 “6 Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.”.
We often quote Ephesians 4:30 out of its context which is totally fine. There’s nothing wrong with that. “30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.”. But when you realize that the context of that verse is verse 29, “29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”. And then he says “30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God,”. You say why do those two things have to do with each other? And here’s why they tie together. It grieves the Holy Spirit of God when you hurt other people with your words. So he says grieve not the Holy Spirit of God. You say well I don’t want to grieve the Holy Spirit. Then ask yourself this before you open your mouth. Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? Ask yourself this before you post this somewhere, email this somewhere, send this somewhere. Is it true? “oh yeah it’s true”. Okay, well is it kind? He said that it may Minister grace. Is it necessary? “to the use of edifying”. He said otherwise you’ll grieve the Holy Spirit of God.
Then in verses 31 and 32, he just kind of gives us a final conclusion and a final synopsis. He goes back to the unsaved people. I grew up in a Baptist Church where we’re taught to have a life verse. And I think it’s a good concept. But we don’t really talk about it a lot. But you know you’re told to have a life verse, right. This is like your life verse. This is how unbelievers live their lives. “bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, evil speaking”. I mean does that sound like a life you want to live? Does that sound like someone you want to be? Does that sound like someone you want to marry? You on those dating sites, and I’m not advising it, I’m just saying when you go on those dating sites and it says tell me a little about yourself. “Well, bitter, wrathful, anger, clamorous”. Is that how you want to live your life?
Do you know that we were created to communicate in words? That’s why God gave us his word. Whenever you think of people, you think of certain words. Your kids, for the rest of their adult lives, whenever they think of you, whether they tell you or not, there are going to be certain words that are going to come to their mind. Do you really want it to be short-tempered? Is that how you want to be remembered? Paul says look, “31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:” Here’s what we should be “32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another,” That sounds a lot better “even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”. He says look, here’s how you want to be remembered. You want people to say of you “Man, she was kind. He was kind. My dad wasn’t perfect but he had a tender heart for us. I knew he loved us. I made a lot of mistakes but they were forgiving.”.
Colossians 3:12 “12 Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; 13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. 14 And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.”. Look, here’s the honest truth, and I’m not trying to discourage you, I’m actually trying to help you. He says it’s like putting a coat off and putting it away and grabbing another coat and putting it off. You say “I have a short temper with my kids.”. Okay. Take that coat off and pick up the coat of long-suffering and put that on. You say “I’m real bitter.”. Some of you have gone through things and I’m not minimizing what you’ve gone through. If you stood up here and we gave you the microphone and you told your story we would all be with you and we’d all agree with you. But listen, you just got to take it off. It is that simple. It’s really just that simple.
You say “I’m a habitual liar.”. Just stop. “I’m a kleptomaniac”. Just stop. It’s that easy. “I got a temper”. Stop. “I like to gossip”. Stop doing it. Just put it off and put on the new man. See, you can’t talk your way out of something you behaved yourself into. So, put it off and put on the new man and you’ll find that your life will be different than that of unbelievers. It will not be empty but it’ll be rich with purpose. It will not be just lustful desires that are never fulfilled but you’ll find fulfillment in Christ. You won’t live helpless and hopeless in this world. You’ll actually live hopeful.
Let’s pray.