Anger Management | Part 2 | Why We Get So Angry
We’re there in James 4 and as we announced, we are continuing our sermon series entitled “Anger Management”. We started this last week and we are learning over the next four weeks about this idea of controlling our anger. The Bible teaches a lot about anger and managing our anger. It’s a very applicable sermon series because all of us can have a tendency to allow our anger to get out of control. And if you remember last week, I preached a sermon called the theology of anger. We went through and looked at a biblical overview of what the Bible teaches about anger. And we saw that last week kind of laid the foundation. Today we will talk about “Why We Get So Angry” and then we will talk about controlling our anger and how to deal with the anger of others in the next few weeks.
We’re in James 4 and James is the half-brother of Christ. He asks a very pointed and crucial relational question. And what I want to do is I want to walk you through this passage and give you several statements. In fact, I want to give you four statements this morning and I would encourage you to write these down. Let me just give you a little bit of a disclaimer or a heads up. I realize that what I’m about to teach this morning is something that we generally as human beings want to push back on a little bit. We want to say that it isn’t that simple. What I would ask you to do is listen to the sermon as I walk through the passage and we develop it. The truth is this, if you embrace what I’m about to teach you this morning, it will help you to get control over your anger. It’ll help you to get control over the conflict that your anger produces in your life. It’s interesting how most of the biggest problems we have in life are really solved by very simple ideas. It’s simple to hear them and understand them. It’s a little more difficult to apply them and we understand that.
Before we get into James 4, I want you to flip back to James 3. And I want to build up a little bit of the context that leads to that question. Because as you know, when the Bible was written, it was not written in divisions of books or Chapters or verse numbers. And we’re definitely thankful that the Chapters and the verse numbers are there. It allows us to be able to reference places in scripture much more quickly. However, when James wrote the book the letter of James which we now refer to as the book of James, it’s not like he was dividing it into Chapters. What we need to understand is that the context of the question we’re going to look at comes from the end of Chapter 3. So, let’s walk through this a little bit and build up the context there a little bit.
Look at James 3:13. “13 Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you?”. If you asked people this question today, most people would say “Well I have wisdom”. He says that people who are wise are meek. He says “let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.”. He says that way that you know if you’re wise is if you can apply knowledge because wisdom, is not knowledge. Wisdom and knowledge are two different things.
Knowledge is knowing concepts and ideas. Wisdom is your ability to apply that knowledge into your life. And here James says “13 Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.”. So, it’s not about what you know but about what you do.
The word meek or meekness is defined and we’ll see it here in the passage. It means to be quiet, gentle, humble, especially in our relationships and provocation of others. And here’s what James is saying. People who are wise are meek, quiet, gentile, humble. They’re not loud. They’re not obnoxious. Because there is no wisdom in running your mouth, losing control of your tongue. If anyone is wise, you they can show out of a good conversation their works with meekness of wisdom. And I want you to notice that phrase “meekness of wisdom”. Because wisdom always comes with meekness. So, here’s a question for you and I don’t want you to answer it out loud. If we were to describe you, would we be able to use the word meek? It doesn’t mean that you don’t like conversation. It means you don’t get loud. Could we say that you’re quiet, gentile, humble? And by the way, if you’re a Christian this morning, our job is supposed to be to be a follower of the Lord Jesus Christ. And the Bible says that he was meek. So, James begins by saying people who are wise are meek. then he gives us the contrast in verse 14.
Notice the contrast in verse 14. “14 But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth.”. Envy is wanting or desiring something you don’t have. Strife is conflict. Notice these words “in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth.”. James was written by the half-brother of Jesus but when you really study it, you can tell it was written by God himself. Because here we have a man who wrote a book or letter around 2,000 years ago and yet gives such insight into the understanding of human nature. Because he says “14 But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth.”. Glory means to boast or brag. And he says don’t boast or brag about it. And you and I would think to ourselves “Why would somebody be boasting or bragging about the fact that they have envying and strife in their hearts.”. That is of course until you meet some people. Some people actually take pride, boast and brag about and glory about it. Now people don’t say “Well I’m just full of envy and strife.”. But what they do is say “That’s just the way I am. I just tell the truth.”.
But actually, they don’t tell the truth. Because notice what the Bible says. “glory not, and lie not against the truth.”. The truth is this. It’s not just that you just tell the truth and you just say it as it is, the truth is that you’re a jerk. The Bible says that we can tell the truth in love. The Bible says that the Lord Jesus Christ told the truth. The Bible says that he was truth and yet was meek. So, you being loud, obnoxious, crude and hurtful has nothing to do with you being someone who tells the truth or tells it as it is. It has everything to do with your anger. The Bible says “13 Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom. 14 But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth.”.
Notice verse 15 “15 This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish.”. What wisdom? The wisdom of you being full of strife and envy. Verse 16 “16 For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.”. He says people who have envy and strife in their hearts can justify anything. I mean ask yourself, is this the life verse of your marriage? Could these words describe your marriage or your relationship with your parents or your relationship with your children or your relationship with your boss or your relationship with your coworkers or your relationship with your Pastor or your relationship with your Pastor’s wife or your relationship with your fellow church members or your relationship with your in-laws or your relationship with your neighbors or your relationship with pretty much anyone you’ve ever had a relationship with? Could it be described this way “there is confusion and every evil work”. Because that’s the opposite of meekness. That’s the exact opposite thing of being meek.
Then James says that people who are meek are wise and people who are wise live in peace. You say “Well, I want to live in peace but it’s not my fault that I don’t have peace,”. Well, here’s what James says. James says people who are wise and meek live in peace because they make peace. Then notice verse 17 “17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable,”. I’m not saying lie to your spouse in order to keep the truth. No, we must tell the truth. We must live in purity but it’s first pure then peaceable. Did you know that you can confront someone without being confrontational? You can contend for the truth without being contentious.
He says “17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated,”. What does that mean intreated? It means to accept. He says the wisdom that is from above is pure, peaceable, gentle and easy to be intreated or easy to be accepted. Some of you say “I don’t understand why my wife won’t listen or accept what I’m saying.”. Or a wife says “I don’t understand why my husband can’t understand.”. Maybe it’s not what you’re saying but how you’re saying it. “17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.”. And look at verse 18. “18 And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.”. You say, “I would like to have peace. It’s not my fault.”. The Bible says that it’s sown in peace of them that make peace. You say what do wise people do? They live in meekness. What do meek people do? They make peace. Now that’s the context leading us into the passage of scripture that I’d like to preach to you out of. That was just the introduction.
That’s the context that leads us into this question from James that is so indicative of human beings. I mean it’s a very crucial, very relational, very just beyond the wisdom of any man that it had to have come from God. He explains that wise people live in meekness and meekness produces peace. When we don’t have those things, when we have envying and strife in our hearts, then we will produce all these things that are the opposite of meekness. And all of that leads us to this question. It’s a question that I’d like you to consider this morning and write down.
James 4:1 “From whence come wars and fightings among you?…”. If we were to ask that question today and ask various people, the actual answer to this question would lead to arguing and fighting. The discussion itself would lead into an argument. Because the truth of the matter is this, the source of our conflicts in our lives actually comes from ourselves. We like to blame our wives, our husbands, our boss, our children, our Pastor. We have this idea where we think that the source of conflict comes from somewhere out there. We think it’s not our fault. I’m just telling you the truth tonight. It’s easy to blame someone else. It’s easy to blame the in-laws or neighbors. However, James says the source of conflict does not come from out there but it comes from in here. Because James says “From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members?”. See, James says the conflict comes from you.
If you’re taking notes then I would encourage you to write these statements down. Statement number 1. We become angry and fight because the source of our anger comes from within inside of ourselves. I often tell people this when I’m counseling with them and trying to help them. I say “Where’s all this drama coming from? Where are all these issues coming from? I mean it’s not like you’re dealing in your marriage with an invading force or the axis of evil has decided to land on your beaches and try to take over. It’s not like you’ve got some other family trying to come in and take over your land.”. See, James says the war that you fight in your family is coming from within you. It’s just your own drama, your own issues, your own conflict, your own inability to make peace. He says “From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members?”.
Go to Genesis 4 in your Bible. What I’d like to do this morning is I’d like to dissect the passage in James but use a story in Genesis to kind of highlight the idea. The first time we see someone getting really angry in the Bible is Cain. Genesis 4:3 “3 And in process of time it came to pass, that Cain brought of the fruit of the ground an offering unto the Lord. 4 And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof. And the Lord had respect unto Abel and to his offering:”. Now we know that Cain and Abel were twins born to Adam and Eve. Apparently, somebody had told them that they needed to bring a sacrifice to God. Either God himself said it to them or Adam and Eve explained that to them. But they were under the understanding, the Bible doesn’t tell us this but the fact that they both brought a sacrifice leads us to believe this, that somebody had explained to them you must bring a sacrifice to God. We actually talked about this last week in our declaring doctrine series. We talked about as a result of Adam and Eve’s sin; the first sacrifice had to be made. The first animal, the blood of that animal, had to be shed that Adam and Eve might be clothed with the coat of that animal.
And here we see their children bringing a sacrifice as well. And in verse three it says “3 And in process of time it came to pass, that Cain brought of the fruit of the ground an offering unto the Lord.”. This is referring to fruits and vegetables and whatever coming from the ground. Notice, he brings fruit grown from the ground. Verse 4 “4 And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof….”. He brought an animal sacrifice, a blood sacrifice. And there’s so much in the story we could go into in regards to lessons on salvation and all that. I’m not going to deal with that this morning. I’m just looking at this idea of contention. “…And the Lord had respect unto Abel and to his offering:”. What does that mean? It means that God saw the offering of Abel and he liked it, he accepted it, he respected it. Of course, Abel brought a sacrifice of an animal. God himself sacrificed an animal earlier in the book with Adam and Eve.
Look at verse 5. “5 But unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect.”. God did not accept it. God did not want it. God said that’s not the sacrifice that I need. And I don’t want to preach on it but here we have a great example of salvation in the sense that you can bring the fruit of your works, you can bring your labor but that’s not good enough. Obviously, Cain had labored in a field, planted and produced fruit and he brought that to God. But God said no, that’s not good enough. God said that he needed the sacrifice of a lamb. Salvation is not you bringing your good works to God. Salvation is the sacrifice of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Notice the reaction of Cain. “…And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell.”. I love that because oftentimes you can tell people’s attitude by their demeanors. Now if I were to ask Cain of the source of his anger, he would probably blame God. But obviously God was not wrong for requiring the proper sacrifice. God is never wrong. Even though Cain brought the wrong sacrifice, was that Abel’s fault? It was Cain’s fault. So why is he so angry? The reason that Cain is so angry is because of himself. His anger and his wrath comes a result of him.
Last week we looked at the idea that we oftentimes don’t get angry but we are angry. And this is what James is referring to. He says your anger does not come because the source of your anger is among you. It does not come from outside of you. It comes from inside of you. We saw last week that anger is not caused by something outside of you. It’s caused by something inside of you. Often, we don’t get angry. We are angry. And we saw this idea last week but let’s just look at it really quickly again.
Proverbs 15:18 “18 A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife.”. Cain is about to stir up strife. Why? Because he was wrathful. See, you and I think we’re angry because of the fight but actually we fight because we are angry. It’s not something on the outside causing you to be angry but something on the inside. Proverbs 16:28 “28 A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends.”. Froward is being difficult to deal with or the opposite of “easy to be intreated”. Have you ever met someone like this? You could give them 5 different solutions for something and they have a problem with all of them.
Proverbs 26:21 “21 As coals are to burning coals, and wood to fire; so is a contentious man to kindle strife.”. We kindle strife because we are contentious. Proverbs 29:22 “22 An angry man stirreth up strife, and a furious man aboundeth in transgression.”. See, it’s not strife that causes you to be angry but if you’re angry then you cause strife. We like to think “No, I get angry because they made me angry and they caused a fight and they said something that upset me and that’s why I got angry.”. But God says that even though they might have done something to upset you or something that is rude and they shouldn’t have done that, that’s not why you got so angry. You see, a meek person could understand that and respond to it in a proper way. You got angry because of something inside of you.
See, James says that the source of our anger comes from inside of us. So, look, if a husband and wife are fighting all the time, it’s something inside of them. I’m not saying that our lives are absent of conflict. There may be conflict and things that need to be confronted. But the reason you get angry and out of control and things that are not righteous indignation is coming from the inside of yourself. We’re talking about the rude things, the cussing, the yelling, the breaking stuff. All of these things that are not righteous. Things where there is no righteous indignation. That came from you.
So, James asks this question “From whence come wars and fightings among you?…”. And he says that they come from our own lusts, from the inside of ourselves. Then he says “…come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members?”. Now the word lust usually is when we think of a physical relationship between a man and a woman. But the word “lust” simply means desire or want. Obviously in the Bible “lust” is often used for a physical relationship. But in the Bible, you find people lusting after money. We find people lusting after food. Lust is just something that you want. And here’s what James says. “From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members?
2 Ye lust, and have not:…”. He said you want something and you’re not getting what you want. He says “ye kill, and desire to have,”. The word desire there means lust. “2 Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain:”. He’s saying not only do we get angry because the source of our anger is from among us, from inside of us. He says we get angry when we do not get what we want. I mean he says “come they not hence”. James 4:1 “come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? 2 Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain:”. James says that we get angry and we fight and we strive and we get mad we get angry when we do not get what we want. Look, anybody who has more than one child knows this is true. I mean if you don’t believe me then just go observe the kids in the playroom after church. You won’t be there that long and you’ll see two kids start fighting. Do you know why kids fight? Because one of them is not getting what they want. One of them wants that toy. They want that doll. They want that car. One has it and the other doesn’t. One is angry because they want the car, they want the doll and they’re not getting it. Then they go and take it and then the other one gets angry because now they’re not getting what they want.
You say “Pastor, it’s not that simple really.”. The same exact reason why every war has been fought in the world, the same reason why every memorial for every soldier that ever died on a battlefield. Why did they die? Because 1 country wanted something that they weren’t getting. You say “It can’t be that simple.”. Well, let me introduce you to the word of God. “From whence come wars and fightings among you?”. They come from you wanting something that you’re not getting. Let’s go back and look at Genesis 4. Genesis 4:6 “6 And the Lord said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen?”. He’s basically asking him why he is angry. Genesis 4:7 “7 If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted?”.
God highlights for us why exactly Cain was upset. You know why Cain was upset? Because he did not get what he wanted. He didn’t want to bring the sacrifice that God has. He wanted to bring his own sacrifice, the sacrifice that made him look the best, that made him look good to show off and brag about. And when it was not accepted, when he did not get what he wanted, then he is mad. That’s why anyone ever gets mad. We get angry when we do not get what we want. We get angry when we don’t get what we want. I mean isn’t this true? Especially when we are wrong, don’t you hate that? When you’re in the middle of an argument and you realize that you are wrong and your anger is not justified but you’re still angry. So, you’re still going to fight. You’re still angry. So, you’re still going to cuss. You’re still angry. So, you’re still going to throw things. You’re still angry. So, you’re still going to threaten. Why? Because you’re not getting what you want. Because you want to continue drinking even though you know you have a problem with drinking and people that love you are trying to tell you that. You’ve got a problem you need to deal with it. Whatever the problem, whether getting high, gambling, spending money, sleeping in, taking days off of school, etc… The truth of the matter is that the reason you get so angry is because of yourself. You say “I brought my husband to this anger management series so you would tell him everything that’s wrong with him and now you’re telling me I’m the problem.”.
Let me go ahead and answer the question for those of you that are smarter than your Pastor. You say “What about when I’m right. What about when my anger is justified. When they promised something and they broke their vow. They lied.”. And look, I’m not taken away from those things and if you got up here and we gave you the mic and you told your story we would all side with you and side against whoever it is you’re talking about. But the truth of the matter is this. Even when you’re right, even when you’re justified, you’re still not getting what you want. Can we at least acknowledge that? “Yeah, but they promised.”. So, what are you angry about? “They didn’t keep their promise.”. And what do you want from them? “I want them to keep their promise.”. So, you’re angry because you’re not getting what you want. “Yeah, but I earned it and I deserve it.”. So why are you angry? “Because I didn’t get it.”. And what do you want? “I want to get it.”. Why? “Because I earned it.”. So, you’re angry because you’re not getting what you want. “I guess but they lied.”. And you’re angry because they lied? “Yeah.”. Why are they angry? “They should have told the truth.”. So, you’re angry because you didn’t get your way.
I’m not saying that you aren’t justified but I’m just trying to show you that your angry because you aren’t getting your way. Whenever anger rises up inside of you, just stop and ask yourself why. What am I not getting that I want? Because that’s the reason for the anger. You say “Well I’m justified. Is there anything wrong with that?”. Well go back to James Chapter four and look at verse two. James 4:2 “2 Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not.”. Every murder came about as a result of anger and all anger came out of us not getting what we want.
Genesis 4:8 “8 And Cain talked with Abel his brother:”. Did Abel have anything to do with Cain’s anger? It came from Cain. “8 And Cain talked with Abel his brother: and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him.”. James said “ye kill and desire to have”. You say “Well I’m not physically killing anybody.”. But are you killing your relationships? Some of you are killing your parenting and the influence that God has given you as a parent because of your uncontrolled anger. And I’m not saying it’s not justified. They should come in at curfew time. They should obey. They should be accountable. I’m not saying it’s not justified. I’m not saying that there are not times when you need to confront someone and deal with a legitimate problem. I’m not saying that at all. I hope you understand that. They may have lied, broke their promise, broke their vows, broke their commitment. They didn’t do what they said they were going to do. I get that. I’m not saying that there’s not a time when we must confront someone and deal with legitimate problems. What I am saying is that even when you are right, even when you are justified, even when you are dealing with a legitimate problem, that does not give you the right to engage in the flesh with out of control and destructive anger that kills relationships.
See, we like to think “No, I’m right. So therefore, everything I do is justified.”. You may be right but what you’re doing and the way you’re handling it and the things you’re saying and the way you’re attacking people is not right. That anger didn’t come from God and didn’t come you’re your justification but it came from yourself. You may be correct in your analysis but that does not give you the right to lose control and to become destructive and to kill.
James 1:20 “20 For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.”. When you allow yourself to enter into uncontrolled wrath, you’re not doing the righteousness of God. What it’s interesting is that you may be right and you’re not righteous. See, sometimes you try to explain this to couples about why they are fighting. You may be just in your belief but you’re not justified in the way you’re going about it. I mean you hear people fighting, you hear parents fighting with their children, you hear couples fighting with each other, you hear church members fighting, and you hear the worst things possible. “I hate you. I will never forgive you. I will keep this anger towards you till the day of my death.”.
You’re never justified in losing control of your anger even when you’re right. In fact, I would say especially when you’re right. See, here’s why we push back on this concept. Some of you are pushing back on this because you feel justified. I’ve explained this to so many people in counseling. I don’t know how many times I’ve told people this and it’s rare for people to admit that they are just throwing a fit. Why do people push back on this? I think it’s because once you take part of the responsibility for your anger then you must also take part of the accountability to resolve your anger. See, when you take responsibility, and admit you weren’t justified in everything, there is some sort of responsibility that you must take to restore the situation.
Even when we realize in the middle of the fight that we are wrong, we rarely are willing to admit that we are wrong. We want to give in to our out of control and destructive anger. And we want to feel justified in doing so. If we have to admit that we acted wrong and we have to take responsibility for the anger, then we don’t get to just throw a fit and feel justified in our fit. And isn’t that what you want? You want to just get to say and do whatever you feel like. You want to do whatever you feel like and pretend that you did nothing wrong and nothing inappropriate.
James tells us that the source of our anger is within us. He says we get angry when we do not get what we want. The third statement is that when you have anger within you then it will flow out to others. That’s why Cain killed Abel. That’s why some of you are killing your marriages. That’s why some of you are killing your relationships with your family members. Because this anger that comes from inside of you, it flows out to others. You say “Well Pastor, what do we do about it.”. I’m glad you asked. First realize that when you take responsibility for your anger, it makes you be accountable for your response. That immediately brings the tension down, brings the temperature down, allows you to control your anger. But James kind of gives us a little bit of insight into how to deal with this or the proper perspective to deal with it. Next week we’re going to talk about how to deal with your anger. But before you can get there, you have to get rid of this idea that you are justified in everything.
When we take responsibility for our own words and actions, it allows us to bring the temperature down a little bit. But then James gives us insight if we look carefully. James 4:2 “From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? 2 Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war,”. Verses 1 & 2 up to this point are just very relational. It’s about meekness and envying and strife in your heart. It’s all about our relationships. Then James says this at the end of verse 2 “yet ye have not, because ye ask not.”. Most people would say this is about prayer and I would agree but I don’t think that’s the only application. You say what does prayer have to do with relationships? He’s talking about the fact of not getting what you want from your spouse, your children, your job, your church. That’s what causes you to fight and kill and destroy and war. Then he shifts gears and it seems almost abruptly and starts to talk about prayer. What is he talking about?
Go to Matthew 7. Matthew 7:7 “7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: 8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. 9 Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? 10 Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? 11 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?”
When Jesus taught his disciples how to pray, he said we should pray “Our Father, who are in heaven…”. You say “Pastor, I don’t understand what does prayer have to do with the fact that I can’t get my teenager to do what I think they should do? What does prayer have to do with the fact that I can’t get my adult children to do what I think they should be doing? What does prayer have to do with the fact that I can’t get my spouse to do what I want them to do?”. The point that James is trying to make is that we fight because we want something from someone. Sometimes we have too high of expectations that we expect from our spouse or our kids or whatever.
See, James kind of shifts gears abruptly. Why is that? James is trying to tell us that we’re asking the wrong person for fulfillment when we should turn to God for that. God can give you the peace. God can give you the appreciation. God can give you the love. God can give you the respect. God can give you all those things you’re trying to squeeze out of your neighbor, out of your boss, out of your wife, out of your husband, out of your children.
Here’s a fourth statement. We get angry and fight because we’re trying to get something other people cannot give or will not give. Imagine what would happen if we realized that your happiness and peace can be achieved in God and you’ll never be happy or have that peace if you expect it from a person who can’t give it. You say “I want my wife to keep her commitments. I want my husband to keep his vows. I want my children to do right, to do what I’ve taught them to do. I want these things. I’ve earned these things. But at the end of the day, my fulfillment is in God. And if everyone else fails me, leaves me, forsakes me, I still don’t have to respond in uncontrolled and destructive anger because I’m not trying to find my peace in them anyway.”.
James 4:1-3 “From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? 2 Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not.”. James tells us that we are asking the wrong person. The truth of the matter is that anger comes from inside of us. The reason it comes out is because you’re not getting what you want whether you’re justified or not. And the reason we don’t want to acknowledge that is because when we have to take responsibility for our anger, then we must take accountability for the response of our anger and we don’t want to do that. We just want to throw a fit and get angry and cuss and throw things and yell and say the worst possible things and walk away feeling justified.
When you take responsibility and accountability for your anger, the temperature goes down. And in fact, if you can get to the place where you realize that contentment won’t be found in anyone else but in God, then you can control the response that comes from within yourself. So, James says that anytime your anger gets out of control, it comes from inside. And I want to encourage you to be with us next week as we develop the idea of how to control our anger.
Let’s pray.