A Faith-Full Family

A Faith-Full Family (Part 2) | Raising Children Who Know & Love the Lord

 Alright well we’re there in 1st Samuel chapter number 2. And like I said this morning, we are continuing our series on the subject of the “A FaithFull Family”. And this morning I’m preaching on the subject of how to raise children who know and love the Lord. How to raise children who know and love the Lord. And if you’re a parent here tonight, I want you to listen up and I’d love for you to take notes and write down a few statements as we go along. And you’ve got in your bulletin, you’ve got a place to write sermon notes, on the back of the chorus of the week. And if you’re here and you’re not a parent, I don’t want you to tune out. Because maybe you don’t have children yet but Lord willing one day you may have children. You might want to learn these things and be ready for that day. Or maybe your children are already grown and maybe you have grandchildren. Or you may have grandchildren in the future. Well these things apply to grandchildren as well. And we’re going to see how you can apply to anybody, even someone who doesn’t have children or ever will have children. We’re going to see how these thoughts that we’re going to learn today can help our church and the future generation. And I want to just give you a very practical sermon on the subject of how to raise children who know and love the Lord.

 Now in in 1st Samuel chapter 3, we’re learning here about the story of Eli. But before we get into chapter 3, we’re going to go through the chapter. I want you to look at chapter 2 and look down at verse number 12. I want you to notice what the Bible says in 1st Samuel chapter number 2 and verse 12. 1 Samuel 2:12 “¹² Now the sons of Eli” Because Eli was the father of Samuel. Eli was the caregiver, the guardian of Samuel. If you remember the story, God gave to Hannah who was barren and not able to have children. And she prayed to God that if she could have a child, that she would return him back to the Lord. And the Lord gave her Samuel and she did return him. And she gave him basically to the temple and to Eli, to the work of the tabernacle. And Eli was the one who raised Samuel but Eli had his own children. And to be honest with you, Eli did a terrible job at raising his own. Notice verse 12 “¹² Now the sons of Eli were sons of Belial;”.  Belial is the devil. Baal is literally and idol that represents Satan. And his children were the sons of Belial. I mean they had gone totally not by the way of the Lord. Notice the last part of the verse. It says “they knew not the Lord.”. And I don’t have time to develop this but, in the Bible, a son of Belial is actually a reprobate. So these people were not only not saved, they had crossed the line where they could not be saved. They were rejected by God.

 And Eli was a high priest. Imagine being a high priest, the spiritual leader of the nation, and you raise children that are the sons of Belial. And the Bible says they knew not the Lord. Notice, look down at verse number 15. Notice what it says about these children. “¹⁵ Also before they burnt the fat, the priest’s servant came, and said to the man that sacrificed, Give flesh to roast for the priest; for he will not have sodden flesh of thee, but raw.”. So they were serving in the capacity of the priesthood. They were supposed to take the flesh that was sodden flesh. If you remember, as we’ve been studying the Book of Leviticus, we spent the first few chapters of Leviticus talking about how the priest would eat the flesh. It was supposed to be sodden, boiled, cooked. But they said no, we don’t want it that way. We want it wrong. Notice verse 16 “¹⁶ And if any man said unto him, Let them not fail to burn the fat presently, and then take as much as thy soul desireth; then he would answer him, Nay; but thou shalt give it me now:”. Notice what they said “and if not, I will take it by force.”.

 These are supposed to be the priests and they were threatening the people and saying no we’re not going to do it the way God says. We’re going to do it the way we want to. And if you don’t agree to it, we’ll just take it by force. Notice verse 17 “¹⁷ Wherefore the sin of the young men was very great before the Lord: for men abhorred the offering of the Lord.”. The people did not even want to go down to the house of God. They did not want to make sacrifices to God because they had to deal with these sons of Belial, the sons of Eli, who knew not the Lord. Notice verse number 22. “²² Now Eli was very old, and heard all that his sons did unto all Israel; and how they lay with the women that assembled at the door”. These young men were not only in the sin of gluttony, they were just taking whatever they wanted by force. But they were also in the sin of adultery and fornication where they were lying “with the women that assembled at the door of the tabernacle of the congregation”. Notice verse 23, “²³ And he said unto them, Why do ye such things? for I hear of your evil dealings by all this people. ²⁴ Nay, my sons; for it is no good report that I hear: ye make the Lord‘s people to transgress.”. They were causing people to sin. Verse 25 “²⁵ If one-man sin against another, the judge shall judge him: but if a man sin against the Lord, who shall intreat for him?” Notice a response from his sons. “Notwithstanding they hearkened not unto the voice of their father, because the Lord would slay them.”.

 Go down to verse number 29. Notice what he says “²⁹ Wherefore kick ye at my sacrifice and at mine offering, which I have commanded in my habitation;” This is the prophet speaking on behalf of the Lord to Eli. Notice what he says “and honourest thy sons above me, to make yourselves fat with the chiefest of all the offerings of Israel my people?”. And I want you to notice that Eli basically unfortunately failed as a parent. I mean failed as a spiritual leader to his boys. They actually had the worst outcome that you could have had. Because it’s one thing to have a child who is saved and not living for God. That’s bad. It’s worse to have a child that’s not even saved. But it’s even worse to have a child that is a reprobate, that’s a son of Belial. And I mean this is the type of parent that Eli was. But I want you to understand something about Eli. Although Eli failed at raising his own children, Eli succeeded in the raising of someone else’s child. Because Eli actually did a good job with raising Samuel. Go to First Samuel 3:19. Notice what the Bible says about Samuel. “¹⁹ And Samuel grew, and the Lord was with him, and did let none of his words fall to the ground.”. This should be the life verse of every parent. This should be your goal for the lives of your children. Just insert for Samuel whatever the name of your child is. Your goal and my goal as parents ought to be that our children would grow and that the Lord would be with them. Our goal should be that our children should know the Lord and should walk with the Lord.

 Notice verse 20 “²⁰ And all Israel from Dan even to Beersheba knew that Samuel was established to be a prophet of the Lord. ²¹ And the Lord appeared again in Shiloh: for the Lord revealed himself to Samuel in Shiloh by the word of the Lord.”. Now here’s what I want you understand. Children who grow up to know and love the Lord, that is not done accidentally, that is done on purpose. They have to be raised. Because look, you need to understand this, we’re not born Christians, we’re not born believers. When you have a child and that child does not know the Lord, notice what the Bible says in 1 Samuel 3:7. “⁷ Now Samuel did not yet know the Lord,” Samuel was not saved at the beginning of this chapter. Now we’re not just talking about salvation, although salvation is the number 1 thing. We want in our children’s life; we want them to not just know the Lord but to walk with the Lord. “⁷ Now Samuel did not yet know the Lord, neither was the word of the Lord yet revealed unto him.”.

 Now you know these verses in Matthew 7 but let me just read them to you. This is Jesus talking about the Great White Throne Judgment. “²¹ Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. ²² Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?”. Notice what he says in verse 23. “²³ And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.”. See, you can do works for God like Hophni and Phineas. You can stand before God and say “Well, did we not prophesy in thy name? Did we not cast out devils? And in thy name done many wonderful works”. And have God say, “I never knew you”. You were never known of me; you were never saved. See, our goal is to raise children.

 And this morning I want to just give you some steps in regards to how to raise children that know and love the Lord. And we’re talking about that they get saved and then walk with God, have a relationship with God, have a real genuine walk with the Lord. Now here’s a question we’ve got to answer. Why did Eli do such a good job with Samuel and such a terrible job with his own children? I mean why was he successful with someone else’s child and yet such a failure with his own child? I’m going to give you the answer to that question at the end of the sermon this morning. But before we get into that, I want to answer, I want to just show you what it is that Eli did right. What was it that he did right with Samuel before and that he did not do right with his sons? And at the conclusion of this sermon, we’ll talk about why was that? Why was he successful with someone else’s child and such a failure with his own?

 Look at 1 Samuel 3:1 “And the child” Notice the word child. “Samuel ministered unto the Lord before Eli.”. Now if you remember in verse 7, we’re told that Samuel did not yet know the lord. In verse 1 Samuel is not saved. He’s just a child. He’s not even saved by the end of the chapter. We get down to verse 19, the Bible says “¹⁹ And Samuel grew, and the Lord was with him,”. And at the end of the chapter, Samuel was saved and walking with God. At the beginning of the chapter Samuel was not saved. In verse 7 we’re told they did not yet know the Lord neither was the word of the Lord yet revealed unto him. He did not have a relationship with God. But I want you to notice in verse 1, the Bible says the child Samuel ministered unto the Lord before Eli.

 Go to 1 Samuel 2:18. Notice what the Bible says “¹⁸ But Samuel ministered” The word minister means to serve or work. “before the Lord, being a child, girded with a linen ephod.”. The Bible says Samuel ministered before the lord being a child girded with a linen ephod. Here’s point number 1, Why was Eli successful? Number 1, he involved him in the work of God. He involved him in the work of God. But I want you to notice that he involved him in the work of God before Samuel was ever saved. Samuel was just a child. The Bible says that Samuel the child, Samuel ministered unto the Lord before Eli. The Bible says Samuel ministered before the Lord being a child. He was just a child. And here’s what you need to understand parents, when we’re talking about having children that know the Lord, that love the Lord. We’re not talking about education or discipline at this point. Next week we’re going to talk about how to raise children that are well behaved and how to discipline them properly and what the Bible teaches about those things. But when we’re just talking about raising a child that actually loves the Lord and has a walk and a desire to serve God, you must involve them in the work of the Lord. You must involve them in to spiritual things when they are children. The Bible says the child Samuel, and by the way this is one reason that at Verity Baptist Church we practice a family integrated church.

 See, most churches today, they will say the things of God are not for children. Go put those kids in a nursery somewhere. Go put them in a Sunday-school class where they can color pages and they can play games. Let’s not talk to them about spiritual things. Let’s not involve them. You know what, the children need to be involved in the work and in the ministry of God. And it’s good for them to be sitting in church and hearing the things of God and hearing the Bible preached. It’s good for them to be involved and be listening to the things that God has for their lives. Oftentimes you’ll have people attack our family integrated model. They’ll say well, they don’t understand everything. And I always respond the same way, the adults don’t understand everything. A lot of it goes over their head. You know what, a lot of it goes over the adult’s head. Every week of my life it seems like I stand up and preach something and then either at the end of that service or the following service someone will ask me a question. I’m like I just talked about that. I just answered that question. You know people make decisions and I’m like man, just two weeks ago I preached a whole sermon on that subject. The one thing you’re making the wrong decision on right now. You say why is that? Because we don’t all grasp everything even as adults. We’re at different spiritual levels and we understand different things.

 But you know what they grasp a lot. Children are smarter than we give them credit for. And we must involve them in the work of God. We must involve them in the ministry. Notice the Bible says the child Samuel ministered unto the Lord. You know what, I believe you ought to take your children out soul-winning with you. I believe you ought to bring your children. You come out here and help them pick up around the church building and get them involved in the cleaning and get them involved in the ministry. And whatever it is you do as an adult to minister around here. Hey, involve your children in that. You say well my kids aren’t even saved. But you know what, if you want to raise children that know and love the Lord, Eli was successful with Samuel. Eli literally raised one of the greatest prophets that the Bible has ever known while he failed with his own children. He succeeded with another person’s child. Why? Because he involved them in the work of the ministry. He didn’t send him off either. He didn’t send them on a bus to church and say well you go off to Sunday School while dad stays home and watches the game. No, the Bible says the child Samuel ministered unto the Lord.

 Notice the words “before Eli”. Let me explain something to you parents. One of the keys to parenting is this word “time”. Someone said this, love is spelled TIME. You must be involved in the lives of your children. You must take time and spend time with your family and with your children. Go to book of proverbs with me. Look, we are conditioned to think that children are a big headache, they’re a big problem, let’s just sit them down in front of a TV, let’s just sit them down in front of a video game, let’s just sit them in front of the Internet, let somebody else watch them and babysit them so we can have our own time and our free time. But look mom and dad, you have to find ways to spend time with your children. You have to dedicate time to your children. Eli spent time with this child. They ministered together. They work together. They have time together. And if you’re going to raise children that love the Lord, you’re going to have to learn to spend time with your kids.

 Proverbs 29:15, the Bible says this “¹⁵ The rod and reproof give wisdom:”. We’ll talk about that next week. Notice what it says “but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.”. You know what, when you’re at the grocery store and you see a little brat throwing himself on the floor and bringing his mother to shame, when you’re at church and you see some child just acting up, when you see a child slap their parent in the face. I’ve literally seen that more times than I care to mention. Watching a child just slap their mom in the face or kick their parent or throw something. Oftentimes when you see a mother or a father that’s being brought to shame by their children, you know what that tells you, that parent doesn’t spend a lot of time with that child. The Bible says “but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.”. And we’re talking both about the good time of spending where you’re helping them and being with them and loving on them and also spend some time disciplining your children. And we’ll talk about that next week. I’m not going to get off on that. But I want you to notice Eli was a successful parent to Samuel because he involved him. He was with him. He spent time with him.

 And look, especially you dad, I get it. You work all day and you come home and you’re tired. But you’ve got to make the effort, you’ve got to make it a priority that you’re going to spend time with your children, that you’re going to play with them and talk with them and conversate with them. And I know sometimes kids can be irritating, I get that. Look, I’ve got five children and sometimes they drive us up the wall. But you need to make a priority to actually spend time. And my wife and I try to actually spend time in conversation with our children. It’s an amazing thing when you first start having children when they’re little. They’re just kind of there you know. They need you to do everything for them. But as they grow older, you can actually start having conversations with your children. It’s amazing, you start talking to your kids, you start realizing this is a person. I mean they have their own thoughts and their own ideas. Sometimes my kids say stuff to me and I’m like that’s a good idea, we ought to do that, we need to implement that. Look, you need to learn to spend time with your kids. A child Left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. So why was he so successful? He involved him in the work of God. He involved him. He spent time with him. He was before him. They were together.

 But I’d like you to notice secondly this morning. Not only did Eli involve him in the work of God, but I’d like you to notice secondly that Eli instructed him in the things of God. Notice verse 2. “² And it came to pass at that time, when Eli was laid down in his place, and his eyes began to wax dim, that he could not see; ³ And ere the lamp of God went out in the temple of the Lord,”. By the way, that lamp was never supposed to go out. And that illustrates a picture that God was no longer working in the lives of these men. “where the ark of God was, and Samuel was laid down to sleep; ⁴ That the Lord called Samuel: and he answered, Here am I.” Notice verse 5 “⁵ And he ran unto Eli,” Think about this, it’s the middle of the night. They are lying asleep. “and said, Here am I; for thou calledst me. And he said, I called not; lie down again. And he went and lay down. ⁶ And the Lord called yet again, Samuel. And Samuel arose and went to Eli, and said, Here am I; for thou didst call me. And he answered, I called not, my son; lie down again. ⁷ Now Samuel did not yet know the Lord, neither was the word of the Lord yet revealed unto him. ⁸ And the Lord called Samuel again the third time. And he arose and went to Eli, and said, Here am I; for thou didst call me.”. I want you to notice as a testament to the Parenthood of Eli how obedient Samuel was. In the middle of the night he’s woken up by his name Samuel and he immediately gets up and runs to Eli and said here am I.

 Listen to me parents, and we’re going to talk more about this next week, but your children should never be allowed to disrespect or disobey or argue with you. Because how they respond to you is how they will respond to God. See, Samuel was set up for success because Samuel had already been trained that when the spiritual authority in your life calls for you, you don’t argue, you don’t complain, you don’t say “Well, what does Eli want? It’s the middle of night.”. He just stood up and said “here am I”. It’s not surprising seeing the way that Samuel responded to Eli and then seeing how Samuel would respond to God for the rest of his life. Because parents, you must understand that we are not training our children and we are not disciplining them and we are not making them obey so that they can make our lives easier, so that we can have a better and easier life without these bratty children. No, we are teaching them to obey. Why? Because one day the authority will be transferred from mom and dad and be given to not dad but God the Father.

 See, my goal in life, and you need to understand this, in the life of your children you are the representation of God in their lives. You say what? In the lives of your children, please don’t miss this, in the lives of your children mom and in the lives of your children dad, that you represent God. And your job is to one day take that child and not say “Well now you’re an adult. Now you’re not under anyone’s authority.”. No, your job is to say you were under my authority but now you are under the authority of God. Son or daughter, now you are under the authority of God. And the way they respond to you is more than likely how they will respond to God. So when you allow your children to just argue with you while you’re alive, when you’re allowing that two year old or that three year old or that five year old or that six year old or that seven year old to argue with you, what you are raising is a future 17 year old or 18 year old or 19 year old that will argue with God. When you allow them to disrespect you, you are raising a future adult that will one day disrespect God. When you allow them to disobey you, what you are doing is you are raising a future child that will one day disrespect and disobey and disagree with God. And listen, you must train them to always obey. We try to tell our children; you obey quickly and with a smile. You obey quickly and with a smile.

 Our hardest little child is our daughter Lydia. I’ve told you about Lydia before. We love Lydia but she’s tough. And often times my wife will tell her, you know later you got to do this. And she’ll make her do it with a smile. And it’s this kind of scary smile you know. You say why do you do that? Because you know what, one day I want them to obey God with a smile. Because we want them, when God says “Thus saith the Lord God”, we want them to obey God and with a smile. We don’t complain, we do it quickly, we obey immediately, we have a good attitude. Eli had set up Samuel for success because Eli had obviously raised Samuel to respond this way. Here am I for thou didst call me. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you called your child and they welcomed you and said “Here am I for thou didst call me?” We try to tell our children to say “Yes Sir” and “Yes Ma’am”. When I tell my kids to do something, I teach my son to respond “yes sir”.

 He instructed him. He taught him how to act. Notice verse number 8 “⁸ And the Lord called Samuel again the third time. And he arose and went to Eli, and said, Here am I; for thou didst call me. And Eli perceived that the Lord had called the child. ⁹ Therefore Eli said unto Samuel, Go, lie down: and it shall be,”. Notice the instruction he gives him. “if he call thee, that thou shalt say, Speak, Lord; for thy servant heareth. So Samuel went and lay down in his place. ¹⁰ And the Lord came, and stood, and called as at other times, Samuel, Samuel. Then Samuel answered, Speak; for thy servant heareth.”.

 So I want you to understand parents that the key to parenting is not only giving your children time and involving them, it is training them and instructing them, it is teaching them. Eli did a wonderful job at that. Samuel was now transitioning from simply obeying because he was a child but actually beginning to walk with God and know God. And he helped him transition and he instructed him. And he said next time you hear God call. You know my goal in life as a parent and your goal ought to be that when our children begin to hear the prompting of the Holy Spirit, and we know we don’t hear the audible words of God, but when they begin to be spoken to God through his word or through the preaching of his word, when the Holy Spirit begins to prod them and to prompt them and to convict them that they would respond “Speak Lord for thy servant heareth”. That they would be instructed to respond properly. Parenting is training.

 Go to Proverbs 22:6 “⁶ Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”. And I want you to understand what this verse is saying, “train up a child in the way he should go”. Please understand this about training your children parents, we are not raising our children, we are not training our children, we are not teaching our children because we want them to be good children, we are training our children because we want them to be good adults. Understand what I just said. We’re not training our children because we want to train good children, we are training our children because we want them to be a good adult. See the Bible says “train up a child”. You say how do I train him in the way he should go and in the way his life should go. And notice when he is old, he will not depart from it. You say, “But what does it mean to train.”

 What’s interesting about this passage, and we’re not going to take the time to develop this, but the only other time you find that we’re trained in scripture, you find it about Abraham training the servants in his house in a military capacity. The idea there is that we ought to be training our children in the same way that the military trains their soldiers. I’m not talking about putting on overhead and yelling at your children and making them do push-ups. Although doing push-ups might not hurt them. What does it mean to train your children? I spent time in the Air Force and you know they would train us in bootcamp? They were training us to do certain things. And you say well what does it mean to train? Let me give you the steps for training your children. Step one, tell them what to do. You got to tell them what to do. That’s where most parents stop.

 Because you have to tell them what to do. But you know what step two is, show them how to do it. Tell them how to do it and show them how to do it. Step three, help them do it. Tell them how to do it, show them how to do it, help them do it. Step four, repeat over and over and over and over again until they can do it on their own. You know why we don’t do that? Because it takes so much time. I remember being in boot camp, we were trained on our rifles. And we had to take them apart and put them together and take them apart. And you know what they did first? They showed us how to do it or they told us how to do it? They said here’s the first step, second step. They showed us how to do it. Then they helped us do it. You know they helped us while yelling at us. But they helped us do it. And then you know what, we just did it over and over and over and over again. You did it so many times and you can do it while being blindfolded. In fact that’s what they wanted you to be able to do, put that thing together in the dark without being able to see. And that’s how we teach our children. You got to teach your children, you got to show your children, you got to help your children, and then you got to repeat it over and over and over and over again until they do it right.

 When you’re showing them how to wash dishes, you don’t just get frustrated and say “Get out of here, let me just finish”. Isn’t that mostly how we do it? You ask them to make their bed and you say “That’s wrong, let me just finish this. It’s faster if I do it”. No look, it requires time to train your kids. You say but why do you take the time to train them and repeat it and correct them and help them? Not because I want good children, but because I want good adults. We get our children up in the morning and we make them get dressed and make their bed and get ready for the day. Why? Because I don’t want to raise an 18 and a 19 and 20-year-old that can’t get out of bed in the morning. We teach them to work hard. Why? Because I don’t want a lazy adult child. We’re not training them so they would be good children, we are training them so they would be good adults. Train up a child in the way he should go. Train up a child in the way he should go. We need to instruct our children.

 Go to Deuteronomy chapter number 6. Let me just give you one thought here. I want to encourage every family in our church to set up a family Bible time, set up a time every day where you spend time in the word with your family. I’m not trying to put a guilt trip on you and I’m not going to sit here and lie to you and tell you that we’re perfect at this because we’re not. My wife has a time where she spends devotional time with the children every day before the school day. We homeschool the children so it’s how she does it before the school day begins. She spends time with them in the Word of God and prayer. She’s very consistent at it during the school time. In the evenings I try to have a family devotional time with our children. I’ll tell you I’m not as consistent at it as I’d like to be but we try to spend the evenings with God. We try to spend the evenings in the word with our children. Why? Because we must instruct them. Deuteronomy 6:5 “⁵ And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.”. That’s what your job is as an adult. But notice verse six “⁶ And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:”. What words? The words that you ought to love the Lord thy God with all thy heart with all thy soul with all thy might. Notice verse 7 “⁷ And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children,”. And I want to encourage you to have a family Bible time. But realize, training your children is all day, 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

 “⁷ And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. ⁸ And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. ⁹ And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates. ¹⁰ And it shall be, when the Lord thy God shall have brought thee into the land which he sware unto thy fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give thee great and goodly cities, which thou buildedst not,”. And he goes on talking about how they’re going to remember the Lord. But I want you to understand that God expects you to talk with your children, to instruct your children, to teach your children. When you’re in the house, when you’re on the way, when you’re going to bed, when you’re rising up, you ought to spend time and instruct your children.

 And parents, I just want to challenge you with this, how is your training time with your kids? Do you even train your kids? Do you instruct them in anything? Or is it just kind of this day where you get up and you just kind of go through the day and they’re all playing video games and they’re doing this and they’re doing that. Is there ever a time? Eli here in the middle of the night perceives that God was doing a work in the life of Samuel and took the time to instruct him and to tell him “Samuel, I think God’s dealing with you. Let me teach you how to respond to God.” And he instructed him. In my life and in your life as parents, we must learn to instruct our children in the things of God. We must take time to train them and to teach them and to help them in the word. And look, I’m not saying for you to take a long time with this. Especially the family. But I want to encourage you dad, spend time with your children in the word. And mom, spend time with your children.

 Just last night we were having family Bible time and listen to me, we don’t sit there and have a whole full-blown church service. Let me tell you a couple things about family Bible time, we have family Bible time on non-church nights. We don’t have family Bible time on Wednesday nights after church. We don’t have family Bible time on Sunday nights. You say why is that? Because my children sat through two sermons from dad on Sunday. I’m not trying to beat them over the head with the Bible and make them hate God’s Word. But you know on Monday nights and on Tuesday nights and on Thursday nights and on Friday nights and on Saturday nights, to the best of our ability, and we’re not always consistent with it, but to the best of our ability we try to read a chapter and we just talk about it a little bit. Last night we were in Ecclesiastes chapter number 2. And I read the chapter to the kids and after we got done reading, I asked the kids what was this about? They responded Solomon. I said well okay, well the whole books about Solomon. So what’s the chapter about? And they said a few things and I read to them.

 I read to them Ecclesiastes 2:14 “¹⁴ The wise man’s eyes are in his head; but the fool walketh in darkness: and I myself perceived also that one event happeneth to them all.”. I said what event happens to everybody? They kind of thought about it. I read verse 15 “¹⁵ Then said I in my heart, As it happeneth to the fool, so it happeneth even to me; and why was I then more wise? Then I said in my heart, that this also is vanity.”. I said hey, what is the event that happens to everybody no matter how smart you are, how foolish you are, how successful you are, how much of a failure? What happens to everybody? They said death. I said yes. That’s why he says in verse 16 “¹⁶ For there is no remembrance of the wise more than of the fool for ever; seeing that which now is in the days to come shall all be forgotten. And how dieth the wise man? as the fool.

 ¹⁷ Therefore I hated life; because the work that is wrought under the sun is grievous unto me: for all is vanity and vexation of spirit.”. I just took a few moments to explain to them, look at what Solomon is teaching us here in this passage. It is that we are not to live for this life because we’re all going to die. And in verse 18 he says “¹⁸ Yea, I hated all my labour which I had taken under the sun: because I should leave it unto the man that shall be after me. ¹⁹ And who knoweth whether he shall be a wise man or a fool?”. I told the kids, if you live your life for possessions, for houses and vehicles and riches and for things and for toys, when you die, can you take that with you? I said this is why Solomon is telling us not to live our lives for this world. We ought to live our lives for God and we ought to live our lives for eternity. We just took a few minutes and talked about.

 You say well that’s not very deep. But you know what, as a Pastor I’ve seen many grown men get backslidden because they became covetous, because they decided to make their lives all about money and possessions and things. And it might have done them good to have a mom and to have a dad to take five minutes when they were 10 years old, 8 years old, 5 years old, 3 years old and say “Hey, listen son. Hey, listen daughter. We don’t need to live our lives for things because one day we’re all going to die and someone else is going to take it. And it’ll all be vexation of spirit. It’ll all be vanity.”. That’s what we’re talking about. I’m talking about you having a little sermon with your children every day. I’m going to read the Bible and find something that speaks to you and say hey kids, let me tell you what this verse is teaching. It would be good for you dad’s; it’d be good for you moms. It might actually get you in the word a little bit, get you to learn the Bible a little bit. But if we’re going to raise children, if we’re going to raise children that love and know the Lord, we’re going to have to involve them in the things of God. We’re going to have to spend time with them. But we’re going to have to instruct them in the things of God and teach them and help them and take every opportunity, take every opportunity to teach them what God says and that God loves them and that God has a plan and a purpose for their lives.

 Go back to 1st Samuel Chapter three. Why was Eli so successful as a parent with Samuel? Well he involved him in the work of God, he instructed him in the things of God. And notice the third thing. Look at 1 Samuel 3:11 “¹¹ And the Lord said to Samuel, Behold, I will do a thing in Israel, at which both the ears of every one that heareth it shall tingle. ¹² In that day I will perform against Eli all things which I have spoken concerning his house: when I begin, I will also make an end.”. God begins to tell Samuel how God is going to judge Eli, his guardian, the man acting as his parent because of the fact that Eli would not restrain his own children. Notice verse 13 “¹³ For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not.”. He failed to discipline his children. Verse 14 “¹⁴ And therefore I have sworn unto the house of Eli, that the iniquity of Eli’s house shall not be purged with sacrifice nor offering for ever. ¹⁵ And Samuel lay until the morning, and opened the doors of the house of the Lord.”. And put yourself in his shoes. You are a child, you are being taken care of by a man named Eli, you realize that Eli is not perfect but he’s been good to you. He’s involved you and he’s instructed you and he’s loved you. And now God has told you of the judgment to come upon Eli’s house. But the last part of verse 15 “And Samuel feared to shew Eli the vision.”. Of course he doesn’t want to tell Eli this. He loves him.

 But notice verse 16. “¹⁶ Then Eli called Samuel, and said, Samuel, my son. And he answered, Here am I.”. He is always answering right. “¹⁷ And he said, What is the thing that the Lord hath said unto thee? I pray thee hide it not from me: God do so to thee, and more also, if thou hide any thing from me of all the things that he said unto thee.”. Notice verse 18 “¹⁸ And Samuel told him every whit, and hid nothing from him. And he said,” Now listen to me very carefully, the next statement that comes out of Eli’s mouth will either make or break Samuel. Because Samuel has been ordained to be a prophet of God. Samuel is going to be used for the rest of his life to tell people things they don’t want to hear. And here the first time that Samuel has a message from God to tell a man and he’s afraid at the response Eli, if he would have got mad and angry and said well who are you, and what do you know, where do you get off telling me? These things could have broken Samuel, could have ruined something, could have caused him to walk away and grow bitter and said this prophet thing is not for me and this preaching thing is not for me.

 But I want you to notice Eli’s response in verse 18 “¹⁸ And Samuel told him every whit, and hid nothing from him. And he said,” Notice what Eli said. I believe this is one of the greatest responses to the judgment of God that we see in scripture. “It is the Lord: let him do what seemeth him good.”. You say what was it that Eli just taught Samuel? I want you to notice that not only did Eli involve him and not only did he instruct him but Eli instilled in Samuel a proper attitude towards God. When the judgment of God came upon the life of Eli, he did not get mad, he did not take it out on Samuel. His response was “It is the Lord. Let him do what seemeth him good”. I want you to understand something, that you and I must learn to instill the fear and love of God in our children’s life by example. You say, is it enough to just involve them? You must involve them but is it enough to just instruct them? You must instruct them but you must also instill in them a love for God, a fear of God, a respect for God. And you must do it, you must do it by your example.

 I love the quote in the bulletin. It says “Children have never been very good at listening to their elders but they have never failed to imitate them.”. You must always remember this, that they will remember what you showed them more than what you told them. And you can tell your kids don’t smoke, smoking’s bad, smoking is not good. But if they see you doing it then guess what, they’re going to do it.  They will pay more attention to what you do than what you say. They will remember what you showed them, not what you told them. And see Samuel got a great example as to how we should respond to God, when he’s watching his parent, his guardian, his leadership be punished and judged by God. And he responds “It is the Lord: let him do what seemeth him good.”. Samuel got a lesson that day, hey you know what, we ought to love and respect and fear God. And when God judges us, we just respect that. I wonder if that affected Samuel, why Samuel didn’t go off and become a rebellious teenager. I wonder if that helped Samuel live the rest of his life and walk with God, realizing that when God says something, we just do it. See Samuel was taught his whole life that you respond to Eli. You respond to Eli when Eli calls your name. You respond properly “Here am I”. Samuel had the opportunity to see God speak to Eli. And he said, here am I, for thou didst call me. I’m just here to tell you mom and dad, when the word of God is preached, and your children see you as a parent be a hypocrite. “You listen to me”. But when God tells you to do something you don’t do it. You are ruining your children and you will not raise children that know and love the Lord. So what did Eli do well, he involved him, he instructed him, he instilled in him the proper attitude fear and love.

 Go back to 1^st Samuel 1. Let me end with this idea, the keys to parenting are this, you must spend time with your children, you must train your children, and you must model, you must model Christianity for your children, you must model spirituality for your children. So here’s the big question, why did Eli do such a great job? Why did Eli do such a great job with Samuel who was not his son and yet failed so miserably with Hophni and Phinehas who were his children? Several years ago, our family on my wife’s side was going up to Washington to visit her grandparents. And my wife’s brother and his family were visiting from the Bahamas. He works in the Bahamas on a Navy base there. And they were with us and they were going to go up to Washington with us. And my wife’s mother, my mother-in-law, had asked if we could switch vehicles because they had a very nice vehicle. We didn’t have enough room for everybody so they asked hey, could we switch vehicles? We’ll drive up your van so we could fit you know my mother-in-law, my wife’s younger brother, and her older brother and family. And then we would drive up in there Lincoln. Because at that time we just had one or two kids or whatever. The whole drive up to Washington I was nervous because I’m not a good driver and this car was very expensive. And I was just thinking good night, I don’t want to get in an accident. And I’ll tell you, it was a self-fulfilling prophecy. As we’re going through a drive-through on the way up there, I scratched the rim of one of the tires. I remember just getting out and I just felt so bad the whole drive. I mean we had hours left and I was just felt so bad. They just bought this car and I’m going to have to tell them that I scratched it. And they were graceful and I showed them and they said “Don’t worry about it. It’s made to be driven.”. They were very nice about it. The whole time I was just thinking, why couldn’t I have scratched my own vehicle. But you don’t want to somebody else’s car. It’s like man, I don’t want to return this damaged. I don’t want to return this with a problem.

 So you know why I believe that Eli did such a great job with Samuel? It’s because it wasn’t his child. See, there’s a theme in the life of Samuel, and the theme is this for Samuel. Verse 27 “²⁷ For this child I prayed; and the Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of him: ²⁸ Therefore also I have lent him to the Lord; as long as he liveth he shall be lent to the Lord. And he worshipped the Lord there.”. See, Hannah returned Samuel back to the Lord. And in that case, she returned him to the tabernacle and to Eli. Eli lived his life realizing this is not my child, this is Hannah’s child, so I’m going to be held accountable for what I do with this kid. And here’s what I believe happened in the life of Eli. Here’s what I believe happened in the life of Eli. Though he was careless with his own children, though he wasn’t worried about the damage and the dents on his own vehicle, he was very concerned with a borrowed vehicle. Because Eli understood this, he understood this is not my child, this child does not belong to me, I am a caretaker of this child, I will be held accountable for how this child was raised. So I better do a good job with him. Though I failed with my own, I will succeed with the one that is borrowed. But here’s what Eli didn’t understand and here’s what Hannah didn’t understand and here’s what you and I need to understand.

 Look at Psalm 127:1 “Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. ² It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep. Notice verse 3 “³ Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord:”. That word heritage there, the word heritage means an inheritance or possession. Dictionary.com defines the word heritage as property that is or may be inherited. The archaic definition from the same website is a special or individual possession, an allotted portion. I want you to notice what the Bible says. “³ Lo, children are an heritage” They are an inheritance or they are a possession. Notice “of the Lord:”. See, the truth of the matter is this, my children are not mine and your children are not yours. They do not belong to me. They are not my possession. They are borrowed for a time. They are a gift from God to return back to him. And in the same way that I was nervously driving that vehicle because I knew that I had to return it and I wanted to return it with the least damage and scratches as possible, you and I must realize that those children do not belong to us. God has lent them to us for a while and we must return them back to God. And I think when Eli understood that this child is not mine, he did a really good job with him. But when he thought, well Hophni and Phinehas are mine, they were dented and scratched and damaged.

 So please mom, please dad, when you start to get angry at that child, when you start to lose your temper, when you are tempted to ignore and say “Go away. Just go do something else. I just need my time.”, please remember that child is not yours. They are the heritage of the Lord. They belong to God and you must return them back. And your goal should be to return them back with as few dents and damages as possible.

 Let’s pray.