Undisciplined | Part 5 | Out of Control Emotions
We’re there in Ecclesiastes Chapter number 3. And of course on Sunday nights we’ve been going through the series called “Undisciplined”. We’ve been looking at these different areas of life where people tend to lack discipline and we’ve been learning about how to live a disciplined life. And if you remember, we started several weeks back and I preached a sermon on laziness and tardiness and cleanliness. And then last week I preached a sermon entitled “Out of Control Words”. Tonight we’re going to be looking at this idea of out-of-control emotions, having our emotions in control. And we’re going to learn about how to be an emotionally mature person. The Bible teaches that emotions were given to us by God. God himself experiences emotions. The Lord Jesus Christ had many emotions while on this earth. We’re going to look at some of those tonight. And we were made in his image so we experience emotions and it was given to us by God. Emotions are not something that are to be suppressed.
In fact, there in Ecclesiastes chapter 3, I want you to notice what Solomon says. Ecclesiastes 3:1 “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:”. And of course he goes through all these different things that there are. Different seasons of life, seasons of time that we may experience them. But I want you to notice verse 4. “4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;”. We weep as a result of an emotion. We laugh as a result of an emotion. Mourning is emotion and dancing comes as a result of an emotion. Look at verse 8. “8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.”. Loving, hating, these are emotions.
I want you to notice that the Bible does not teach us that these things are bad things or that we should suppress them or that we should ignore them. In fact, the Bible says there are times in your life when you’re going to weep and there are other times when you’re going to laugh. There are times when you’re going to mourn and times when you’re going to dance. Times when you should love and times when you should hate. These are emotions that were given to us by God and we should embrace them and we should balance them in our lives.
We’re learning about becoming an emotionally mature person. The first thing I want to say by introduction is that emotions should not be suppressed. They should not be ignored. They should be embraced. Now let me just give a disclaimer right at the beginning here. There may be a medical reason why your emotions are imbalanced and if that’s the case then you may need to seek some medical attention. There are definitely reasons, biological reasons in the body of a person that can cause your emotions to not be balanced as they should. And like I said, if that’s the case then you need to see a doctor or get some medical attention in regards to that. If that’s you or that’s ever, been you, I want to be clear that this sermon is not about that. I’m not a medical doctor and I’m not going to get up here and give you medical advice. What I’m referring to is for people that are not having a physical reason as to why their emotions may be imbalanced and it’s just their own sin and flesh. It’s just them not wanting to control their emotions.
And of course when you preach to 150 to 200 people, you can’t get into every specific detail of every person’s life. But by and large what we’re talking about is just controlling your emotions. And like I said, if there’s a medical reason as to why there may be an imbalance there or something you need to get checked out then I definitely would counsel and advise that you seek that medical attention. With that said, emotions are a very important part of our life. Our emotions can help us succeed or they can cause us to fail in life, especially in the Christian life.
Proverbs 18:14 “14 The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity;”. The word “spirit” there is referring to your emotions. Obviously, it is the spirit but it is how you feel in your spirit. It says the spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity. See, someone could be going through a difficult time, maybe even in infirmity. And if their emotion, if their inner man, if their feeling or the way they feel is good the Bible says the spirit of man will sustain his infirmity. “but a wounded spirit who can bear?”. When your spirit, emotions, inner man is wounded then you’re going to be in trouble.
Proverbs 17:22 “22 A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.”. Proverbs 15:13 “13 A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.”. Sorrow of the heart is a reference to a feeling, an emotion. And by the sorrow of the heart, the Bible says the spirit is broken. “but a merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance”. Your countenance, your face will express to us the way you feel on the inside. And I just want to show you that emotions are something that the Bible says it’s good to have them in their proper place. It’s good to have them in their proper balance. It’s good to have them controlled. Why? Because a merry heart doeth good like a medicine.
Solomon said there is a time to weep. And when it’s time to weep, you should weep. And when it’s time to laugh, you should laugh. When it’s time to mourn, you should mourn. You should embrace mourning. There are difficulties in life. Oftentimes people try to avoid mourning but mourning is something that God has put in us to help us to get through difficult times. And if it’s a time to mourn, you ought to mourn. If it’s a time to dance, you ought to dance. And a time to love and a time to hate. These are all things that the Bible teaches, even the secular world is starting to realize that emotions are an important thing. Let me quickly by way of introduction read to you a few articles.
I’d like to read to you some excerpts from a few articles here regarding these new terms that are being used. Emotional intelligence. Now I realize that emotional intelligence can probably be used to push a bunch of negative agendas and things that we don’t agree with but I thought these articles were interesting. Let me just read to you a little bit from them. One article is called “EQ versus IQ”. Which one is more beneficial? EQ emotional versus IQ intelligence. Here’s what the article says.
“Human intelligence is marvelously complex. For centuries researchers and philosophers have attempted to define it in the modern era. Researchers have relied on intelligence quotients or IQ tests to measure both what people know and how quickly they can solve problems using reasoning. But IQ tests alone don’t necessarily account for the full range of your thinking abilities. IQ tests don’t always predict success in school, life or business. In recent decades, researchers have expanded the definition of intelligence to include a wider set of skills. In the last 20 years, the concept of emotional intelligence or EI has emerged as a way to describe another set of thinking skills. Emotional intelligence refers to your ability to recognize and regulate emotion and to use social awareness in problem solving.
The article goes on to say “Your emotional quotient or EQ generally refers to your ability to sense emotion in yourself and in other people. It also refers to how you use the awareness to guide your behavior. In general, if you have a high EQ, you may find it easier to identify emotions in yourself and others, empathize with others, adapt your feelings and behaviors to different situations, control your impulses, withstand temptations, delay gratification, resolve conflict with others and communicate effectively.
Here’s another article entitled “Is IQ or EQ more important?”. They answer this question. Which is more important? It says at one point in time, IQ was viewed as the primary determinant of success. People with high IQs were assumed to be destined for a life of accomplishment and achievement. But today, experts recognize that IQ is not the only determinant of a life of success. Instead, it is part of a complex array of influences. One that includes emotional intelligence. Many companies now mandate emotional intelligence training and use EQ tests as part of their hiring process. Research has found that individuals with strong leadership potential also tend to be more emotionally intelligent suggesting that high EQ is an important quality for business leaders and managers. So even the secular world is beginning to understand the importance of emotions and understanding our emotions and regulating our emotions and being able to be responsible with our emotions.
I want to speak to you tonight on this subject of controlling your emotions. We’re going to look at two different headings in regards to our emotions tonight. The first one is things to know about your emotions. Just some things that the Bible teaches and things that you should know and understand about your own emotions. And then secondly, we’re going to talk about how to control your emotions. So things to know about your emotions and how to control your emotions. I would encourage you to write these things down.
#1 – Things you should know about your emotions. First of all, you should know that your emotions can be good indicators to help with discernment in regards to situations. Sometimes your emotions are an alarm. They are an indicator to help you understand or perceive a situation. I told you in my opening statements that the Lord Jesus Christ himself had many emotions. And we could spend the whole night looking at the emotions of Jesus. I’m not going to do that. But I do want to give you some examples.
Mark 3:1 “And he entered again into the synagogue; and there was a man there which had a withered hand. 2 And they (The Pharisees) watched him, whether he would heal him on the Sabbath day; that they might accuse him.”. So here we have Jesus teaching in the synagogue. A man with a withered hand comes in and of course Jesus has already been healing people and helping people like this. And the Pharisees don’t sit back to watch to see whether Jesus can heal him or will heal him. They want to see whether he would heal them on the Sabbath day that they might accuse him of working on the Sabbath day. And of course they had an improper understanding of the Sabbath Day. But I want you to notice Jesus’s response.
Verse 5 “5 And when he had looked round about on them with anger,”. Notice that Jesus was angry. Now of course we understand that when most people get angry, they sin. Jesus of course was sinless. This is righteous indignation. He did not sin. It is possible to get angry and not sin. In fact, the Bible says be angry and sin not. We know that Jesus did not sin. But I want you to notice that he was angry. He was upset. “5 And when he had looked round about on them with anger, being grieved…”. Grieve is an emotional word. It means having deep sorrow. He was angry and he was grieved. Why? “…for the hardness of their hearts, he saith unto the man, Stretch forth thine hand. And he stretched it out: and his hand was restored whole as the other.
See, Jesus looked at this situation. He perceived what was going on. He perceived that the Pharisees were watching him and maybe they were whispering to each other and speaking in low tones and they were wondering whether he was going to heal this man on the Sabbath day so that they might accuse him. And Jesus was grieved. The Bible says he was grieved in his heart because of the hardness of their heart. The Bible says that he was angry. So I want you to notice that sometimes you might feel angry. Now allowing anger to take control will lead you down the wrong path. But sometimes you may feel angry and it might be an indicator that God is trying to show you something.
Emotions can be good indicators when it comes to detecting lies and trying to get to the truth of a situation. People often tell you to trust your gut. If you feel something isn’t right in your gut then something isn’t right. Your gut is probably correct. In fact, most of the time I would say your gut is correct about that feeling. Now you may be incorrect about your gut. Sometimes we get this feeling like something’s not right here and we might start making assumptions. You don’t want to end up like Job’s friends. But the point is that your emotions can be good indicators. God gave you emotions to try to help you perceive and guide your relationships with other individuals.
John 11:33 “33 When Jesus therefore saw her weeping,…”. Remember I read to you that article about emotional intelligence. People that are high in emotional intelligence identify emotions in themselves and others, empathize with others, adapt their feelings and behaviors to different situations, control their impulses, withstand temptations, resolve conflicts, communicate effectively. I would say based off that definition that Jesus was very high in emotional intelligence. Notice how he empathized with others here in verse 33.
“33 When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews also weeping which came with her, he groaned in the spirit, and was troubled.”. This is after Lazarus is dead and we see Jesus groaning and being troubled. John 11:35 “Jesus wept”. Why did he weep? Because he was in touch with his emotions. He was connected to his emotions. See, your emotions can be an indicator.
Hebrews 4:15 “15 For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.”. See, Jesus felt everything you felt. Jesus went through every emotion that you’ve ever gone through. Jesus experienced everything you’ve experienced. The only difference is he did it without sin. You and I often do it with sin. But I want you to notice that emotions can be good indicators. God has put emotions in to you as indicators to tell you about things you should pay attention to.
Number one, emotions can be good indicators. That’s true. But number two, you and I need to realize that our emotions can be unreliable. They may be good indicators that something’s going on that you need to pay attention to. But sometimes when that emotion goes up, we begin to make assumptions. Let’s say for example that someone at Church kind of gives you the silent treatment. You might feel that there is an indicator that something is wrong. Your emotions can run with that and think that person is your enemy. You decide to go on Facebook and rip them for all of their sins. But maybe they are going through a rough time. Your emotions might indicate something to you but before you start running with every little assumption, realize that your emotions can be unreliable. Allow them to indicate but don’t allow them to lead. Allow them to bring things to your attention but don’t allow them to take control or charge of the situation. In the Bible, heart and spirit can be used interchangeably. This is the inside of a man, who you are, your soul.
Proverbs 16:25 “25 There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.”. See, sometimes we look at a situation and we think it seems right in that moment but that doesn’t mean that it is right. You say, well how can that be? The point I’m saying is that your emotions sometimes can give you an indication if there is a problem. But don’t start making assumptions based on that feeling. If you have a feeling about something, you should pray about it and ask questions.
Jeremiah 17:9 “9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?”. In the United States of America, we like to tell people fall follow your heart. That’s the worst advice you can give somebody. Follow your heart is the last thing you want to do. “9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?”. This is what happens when people get advice and counsel from the world. The world will tell them to follow their heart. People tell you to do what makes you happy and do what you think is right. But the Bible says “9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?”. So your emotions can be an indication but they can also be unreliable.
Matthew 15:19 “19 For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies:”. See, sometimes your heart starts to tell you something is not right. God gave you that emotion to help warn you and make you aware. But before you start making all sorts of assumptions about everyone and everything, remember that your heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. Remember that out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies. Let me tell you something, every stupid thing we’ve ever done, every sinful thing we’ve ever done, everything we did that cost us time and energy and gave us spiritual wounds and gave us problems in our life, every stupid and dumb thing you and I ever did in life, we were the masterminds of it. It came from our heart. The idea to go there, call her, spend that money, get a divorce, etc…You were the mastermind. It came out of your heart. Because “19 For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies:”. So allow your emotions to be an indicator but don’t let them lead you. Don’t let them take charge. Don’t let them start making decisions because emotions are good indicators but emotions can be unreliable. They come out of your heart and your heart is deceitful above all things.
Number three, emotions can be controlled. Proverbs 16:32 “32 He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.”. The Bible says it’s better to rule your spirit than to rule a city. It’s better for you to have control of your inner man than to have control over other people, than to have control over a nation or a city. The idea is that your emotions can be controlled. We lie to ourselves and tell other people that we can’t stop. But the truth of the matter is that you can control it. The Bible says that you can rule your spirit. And again there may be medical reasons why you struggle with some of these things and maybe you need medical attention. But the truth is that usually you just need to get control over your emotions.
Let me tell you something. The Bible says that you can do it. The Bible says that you can walk in the spirit. The Bible says that when you walk in the spirit, you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh. And the Bible says “22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, 23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.”. The Bible says that he that ruleth his spirit is better than he that taketh the city. Here’s what people think, “I can’t control my emotions so if I can just control my husband or wife or co-workers or children then everything will be fine.”. The Bible tells us to control ourselves though. Most people try to control everyone else rather than themselves. It would be more beneficial for you to learn to control yourself than controlling other people.
See, your emotions can be controlled. You say, “How do I know when I’m in control of my emotions or when my emotions are in control of me.”. And we’re going to talk a little bit about that. But let me just say that when your emotions stop you from doing something, you’re not in control. When you don’t go, when you cancel, when you make up a reason why, when you lie, it’s because your emotions stop you from doing something that you want or should do. If you are like “I would go soulwinning but I’m shy.”. This means your emotions are in control of you. Look, we all have emotions like these. We need to try to get control over and get a hold of them. And I’m not trying to hurt your feelings. I’m just telling you if you’re being stopped by your emotions then your emotions are in control of you.
I’m not standing up here trying to tell you that I’ve got this 100% figured out or down perfectly. We all struggle with emotions. We all get upset and angry. We all have anxiety. I’ve been talking to different people a lot about this recently and I mentioned it to my friend Pastor Anderson. I’m a little claustrophobic when it comes to getting on those planes. Sometimes I get on and my anxiety just kind of starts picking up. The interesting thing is I can fly for several hours with no problems but once I get up to 4 or 5 or 7 hours, I can barely take it. But I actually travel to a lot of places to preach so it is something that I have to deal with. When I flew to Jordan with Pastor Anderson, it was around a 16-hour flight. Leading up to that trip, I was just having all of this nervousness about that trip. I stayed up for 24 hours before the flight so I could try to sleep as much as possible on the plane. Here’s all I’m telling you, it’s normal for us to have emotions that try to derail us. That’s normal. But when you allow them to stop you, now they’re in control. Now they’re in charge. Now they’re the boss. Number 1, emotions are good indicators. Number 2, emotions can be unreliable. Number 3, emotions can be controlled.
Proverbs 25:28 “28 He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.”. What does that mean? In the ancient world, you would have these cities and they would build these walls as a defense or as a protective barrier. The walls were the way that they protected themselves. And a city without a wall was left defenseless. A city without a wall was left open like sitting ducks for an attack. Anyone could walk into that city and begin to kill or to steal or to pillage or whatever because there was no defense mechanism for that city. And God says that he that has no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down and without walls. What does that mean? When you can’t control your emotions, you leave yourself defenseless for anyone to come in and start messing with you. You leave yourself open for people to start coming into your city and doing whatever they want and you can’t stop them. Why? Because you’ve got no rule over your own city. You’ve got no defense around your own emotions. You’ve got no wall to control your emotions. He that has no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down and without walls.
See, when somebody says something like “He made me mad. She made me mad. They made me mad.”. Look, nobody made you mad. The truth is that you are like a city without any walls. Do those people have so much control over you to cause you to be angry? Angry people get upset in their marriages and they want to get divorced. They say he doesn’t make me happy. She doesn’t make me happy. Well is it someone else’s responsibility to make you happy? You’re supposed to find your joy in Jesus Christ. And as nice as your wife is, as nice as your husband is, as nice as your children are, as nice as your house is, as nice as your job is, none of those things are supposed to bring joy into your life. It’s Jesus. But he that has no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down without walls. If even a random stranger on the road can make you angry by cutting you off then you are like a city that is broken down and without walls. Why are you allowing people to come in and control you?
Here is a quote. “When your emotions is a byproduct of your circumstances, you will only be in control of your emotions as you are in control of your circumstances”. That’s why you’re trying to control the city. When your emotions are a byproduct of your circumstances, you will only be in control of your emotions as you are able to control your circumstances. Here’s the problem. We often cannot control our circumstances and because our circumstances are out of control, so are our emotions. You cannot allow your emotions to be a byproduct of your circumstances. But I’m here to tell you that your emotions can be controlled. Proverbs 4:23 “23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.”. God says you ought to put a gatekeeper, put a gate up, put a wall up and keep your heart. Don’t allow people to control you. Don’t let people get you so mad. You are a grown person. You ought to be in control of your own emotions.
So here’s some things to know about your emotions. Number one, emotions can be good indicators. Number 2, emotions can be unreliable. Number 3, your emotions can be controlled. Those are some things you should know about your emotions. Let’s shift gears a little bit and talk about how to control your emotions. Let me just give you some thoughts.
Let me give you 3 thoughts in regards to controlling your emotions. Number 1, control who you spend time with. If you want to control your emotions, you should control who you spend time with. Because the people that you spend time with will influence your emotions. Proverbs 22:24 “24 Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:”. Why? Here’s why. “25 Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul.”. See, the people you spend time with, they will begin to influence you. You’ll begin to talk like them, think like them, have the same ideas as them. Birds of a feather flock together. You start hanging out with someone and they start to rub off on you. If someone you hang out with paints their fingernails black, you will probably do the same. They wear lots of makeup and then you probably will too. You hang out with depressed people and you will start to be depressed. If you want to control your emotions, you ought to control who you spend time with.
You see some young people who all of the sudden start rebelling out of nowhere. How does that happen? Sometimes parents can’t figure it out. It’s probably because of who they are hanging out with. I mean it seems like a person is godly, doing right and then out of nowhere they have lots of sins and a bad attitude. If that happens, check who they are hanging out with. Our emotions are a byproduct of who we spend time with. If your friend has an issue with his parents then you will probably start being the same way. If your friends or co-workers are mad at the boss then you probably will be too. I’m just letting you know, if you want to control your emotions then control who you spend time with. Don’t allow people that have bad attitudes to spend time with you. Because if they spend time with you, they’ll influence you. The Bible says iron sharpeneth iron. The Bible says make no friendship with an angry man. Why? Lest thou learn his ways.
So how do we control our emotions? Number one. You need to control who you spend time with. Number 2, you need to control your thoughts. Number 2, you need to control your thoughts. Proverbs 23:7 “7 For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee.”. The Bible says that the way you think effects the way you feel. If you think better things then you will feel better. The Bible says “7 For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he:…”. We must take control over our thoughts. We must take control over our mind. If you want to control your emotions, you must control your thoughts.
2nd Corinthians 10:5 “5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;”. You need to bring your thoughts in control. How do I control my emotions? You control who you spend time with. How do you control your emotions? You control your thoughts. Because you feel is based on what you think about.
Philippians 4:7 “7 And the peace of God,”. This is emotional stability or balance. “And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding,…”. People don’t understand it. How can you be at peace when this is happening? How can you be at peace when you’re going through this? The Bible teaches that it comes from God. It’s found in Jesus. Jesus said “33 These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”. Philippians 4:7 “7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”.
Then the question is how do we have the peace of God? Verse 8 “8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”. You have to control your mind. Why? Because for as he thinketh in his heart, so is he. You say “Pastor, I’m going through a hard time. I don’t feel good.”. The way you think is the way you are. Start thinking of good things like is mentioned in verse 8 and you can’t help but praise God. Think about the hymn “It’s Just like Jesus”. Once you get to the chorus, you can’t help but be in a good mood. You can’t sing that and stay down. You start thinking about Christ, thinking about God and what he has done, it will put you in a good mood. You say, I want to control my emotions. Control your thoughts. Control who you spend time with.
Isaiah 26:3 “3 Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.”. Keep trusting in God, keep your mind on him and you will have peace. Sometimes in the world they talk about self-talk. I’m not necessarily against that. I think the people who say these things have their heart in the right place. I think to an extent they are correct. It’s good to think positively and think confidently about yourself. I mean if you think you’re a loser then you will never succeed. But what’s more powerful than self-talk is spiritual talk. You ought to have some spiritual self-talk.
Now David was a man after God’s own heart. David was an emotional man. If David was alive today, maybe they would put him on medication for being too emotional. You say, “What are you talking about?”. Have you ever read Psalms? You start with Psalm 1 and he’s saying “Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly,”. And often he is rejoicing and talking about how God is great and he is the Lord’s servant. He says “Let everything that hath breath praise the Lord”. Then at other times he is depressed and wants to die. Then sometimes he looks at the enemies of God and wants them to be destroyed and killed. His emotions are all over the place. Why did God put that in the Bible? Because sometimes you and I are like that. Sometimes we think everything is great and sometimes it is terrible. Look at the spiritual self-talk.
Psalm 42:11 “11 Why art thou cast down, O my soul?”. He’s hugging himself. “and why art thou disquieted within me?”. He’s talking to himself and asking why he is so down. Then he says “hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.”. Here you have the Psalmist asking himself why he is so down and have hope in God. This is spiritual self-talk. He’s telling himself that he doesn’t need to be down. Sometimes things aren’t going well but if our hope is in God and not in this world.
You need to take control of who you spend time with, your thoughts and let me give you a 3rd one. Number three, control your actions. See, conventional wisdom says that you have to get a hold of your feelings. But we talked about how the way you feel is a result of the way you think. Conventional wisdom says that actions follow feelings. People think that they aren’t getting things done because of their feelings. If you go out today and talk to a clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, psychotherapist, etc…Their preconceived idea is that your feelings proceed your actions. They say the problem is the feelings. Let’s fix the emotion and then the actions will get fixed. That’s why they prescribe people all sorts of medications. If you aren’t feeling good then they’ll give you something to pick you up. And when you are too picked up then they will give you something to bring you down. They’ll give you all sorts of prescriptions and medications and things to help your feelings.
All I’m telling you is that your feelings follow your actions. When you do what you’re supposed to do, your feelings will follow. See, you’re supposed to do what you’re supposed to do whether you feel like it or not. And when you do what you’re supposed to do, your feelings fall in line. Remember in Psalms how Asaph is so discouraged and upset. He started looking at the world and feeling bad. He felt like he got ripped off in life. He was feeling like all of the wicked people were prospering. He was thinking that he gave his life to God and he had all of these problems while others live for themselves and their lives are great. But when he goes to the house of God, his feelings follow his actions. All of the sudden he doesn’t feel bad anymore. Why? Because your feelings follow your actions. You say how do I keep doing the right thing even if I don’t feel like it? It’s called duty. It’s called integrity. It’s called responsibility. Do what you are supposed to do and your feelings will line up with your actions.
Remember Job was going through a difficult time, was an emotional mess, was up and down and all around. If we went through what Job went through then we’d be way worse. Notice what Job said “15 Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him.”. He was on top and things were good but also notice the last part of the verse. Job is saying that he isn’t doing well but he isn’t going to stop what he is doing. He says that what he was doing when he was feeling well is the same thing he will do when he isn’t feeling well. Your feelings follow your actions. When you do the right thing, your feeling will come along too.
We talked about things to know about your emotions. Number 1, emotions can be good indicators. Number two, emotions can be unreliable. Number three, emotions can be controlled. We talked about how to control your emotions. How do you do it? Number one, control who you spend time with. Number two, control your thoughts. Number three, control your actions. Why? Because you feel the way you think. Think the way you think and your feelings follow your actions, not vice versa. So stop trying to fix your feelings hoping that you’ll get your actions in line. Just get your actions in line and your feelings will follow.
Let me finish with this thought. You and I will experience different emotions through life. In Ecclesiastes we saw there is a time to weep, a time to laugh a time to mourn, a time to dance, a time to love, a time to hate. You’re going to go through different parts of your life and you’re going to experience different emotional upheavals and emotional rollercoasters. Embrace it. Let it be an indicator. Don’t let it take control. Realize that God gave it to you for a reason. But don’t let it control you and move on in life. But let me just say this about your emotions. You will experience emotions through life and you should experience emotions with others. See, we were created for community. We were created to live the Christian life within a group, with a team striving together for the faith of the gospel. It’s the local new testament Church. You were not created to live your life in isolation.
Romans 12:15 “15 Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.”. Notice what the Bible says. Here is a command to the Church to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. If somebody gets a good job or prayer answered or promotion, rejoice with them. When someone is going through tough times, we bring them meals and pray for them and love them. This is called Church. It’s called Church life. We’re a community. Now here’s what is interesting. God says rejoice with them that rejoice and weep with them that weep. That’s not the only place where the Bible tells us that.
1st Corinthians 12:26 “26 And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.”. We’re supposed to live as a community and we’re supposed to live and experience these emotions with others. What is interesting is that often times over the last 11 years of ministry, when people are struggling with their emotions and need Church the most, they tend to isolate themselves. When they aren’t feeling well, they decide not to go to Church, not to go to an activity, not to go soulwinning. Let me tell you something. You were not meant to live in isolation. God gave you a Church. Why? So that when one member suffers, all the members suffer with it. Or one member be honored, all the members rejoice with it. So that we can rejoice with them that do rejoice and weep with them that weep.
The worst thing you could do when things aren’t going well in life and your emotions are not doing well is to isolate yourself. You need to be around people. You need to talk to people. The sin you are struggling with isn’t going away. The marriage that you’re struggling with isn’t going away. You need to come to me, to my wife, to someone on staff, and get some help. Why don’t you do it though? Because your emotions say that you will be embarrassed. You don’t people to think of you in that way. Let me tell you something, don’t allow your emotions to lead you. If, your emotions say don’t show up to Church, show up to Church. Why? Because we want to rejoice with you when you’re rejoicing and we want to weep with you when you’re weeping.
Don’t let your emotions take control because we were meant to live as a community of believers. And it’s a beautiful picture. When one member suffers, all the members suffer. One member is honored, all the members rejoice with it. Rejoice with them that do rejoice, weep with them that weep. 2 are better than 1. This idea is found all throughout the Bible. So when you need Church the most and things aren’t going well, don’t isolate yourself. In fact, during those times, show up early and fellowship and stay late. Fellowship with someone, talk to somebody, pray with somebody. Let us rejoice with those that rejoice and let us weep with those that weep. Let us suffer with you and let us help you.
Let’s pray.